Pretoria - In what is considered a victory for victims of domestic abuse, and appropriately falling in Women’s Month, a young Hillcrest woman has been awarded R170 000 in a damages claim she brought against her ex-boyfriend who beat her up several times during their one-year relationship.
“I never, ever thought it would happen to me,” the 27-year-old woman told The Mercury in an interview after the court hearing on Tuesday.
“It was an absolute nightmare. But this has made me stronger and I hope it helps other women who have been treated this way,” she said.
The young woman - who asked that her name be withheld - had been physically attacked by her personal trainer boyfriend on four occasions during which he smashed her head against walls, head-butted and throttled her.
She sued him after the State withdrew criminal charges against him. Initially he opposed the application, but then his attorneys withdrew and he did not file any further opposing documentation, effectively consenting to judgment against him.
The woman then submitted to court a detailed account of the attacks, describing how he would go into a “complete rage”.
Once, she said, he smashed her head so hard against the wall, she blacked out. On another occasion, he threw her on the floor, kicking her and hitting her until she feared for her life.
On each occasion the man would apologise to the woman, but claim she had provoked him.
Her parents eventually persuaded her to lay charges and, when that failed, to sue him.
“You hear stories about abuse … but you never really believe it will happen to you.
“And then it does and you get completely sucked in. I was crazy in love with him, so I was lucky I had the support of my parents to help me see what was right and make the right decisions,” she told The Mercury.
“It has been two and a half years and I have healed a lot. But I am still terrified of going out on my own in case I see him or his family. I caught a glimpse of him the other day and I just dropped my shopping basket and ran.
“I wonder sometimes how long I will feel so scared.”
She said the comments by Judge Fikile Mokgohloa that she had “no doubt” she had suffered damages had given her some closure.
“This is not about the money. This was about him - and others who behave like him - facing some consequence.
“I hope it makes people think twice before they behave this way and I hope it brings some awareness to the issue.
“Abused people must never just accept it. I have a new boyfriend now who is an absolute angel. He treats me how women should be treated.”
Attorney Jonathan Brookes said his client had wanted to prove a point.
“Since the initial publicity about the case, I have received calls from people, including private investigators, saying it was so awesome that someone was willing to push all the way for something that should be taken seriously.”
The Mercury