Pretoria - One of the Boermag treason accused on Wednesday rejected his parents' declarations of undying love.
Their utterances were “dishonest” and “conditional”, self-confessed Boeremag bomber Kobus Pretorius told the High Court in Pretoria.
He said he had never experienced sincere love from his father and co-accused Dr Lets Pretorius, or from his mother Minnie.
Piet Pistorius, for Dr Pretorius, put it to him that his parents loved him unconditionally and would slaughter the proverbial fattened calf and have a feast when he returned home one day.
He replied that he had stopped reading their letters because he was tired of them stabbing him in the back and bad-mouthing his “new parents” (his religious advisor Sonja Jordaan and her husband).
Pistorius put it to him that his background painted a picture of love, compassion and strong family ties.
Pretorius jnr replied: “Their love was never the love for a child, but the love for a possession. They want their possession back. If we were raised so well, why did three intelligent young men become involved in the Boeremag case?”
As a trained engineer, Pretorius admitted he was an intelligent man who could think for himself, but insisted he was not raised to think critically.
“Madness is logical reasoning from the wrong premise. I used my intelligence from the wrong premise, which was laid by Mr and Mrs Pretorius,” he said.
He felt aggrieved that his father had not only accused him of being schizophrenic, but had stated as a fact that he was schizophrenic, which was not true.
He conceded drifting from one religious adviser to the next in jail, but said it was because he was searching for sincerity, which he had found for the first time in Mrs Jordaan.
On Tuesday, Pretoria told the court his parents had “raped his soul” and that he had never had an emotional bond with them during his childhood years.
Pretorius distanced himself from what he described as his family's extreme political and religious beliefs.
He referred to his father and brothers, Johan and Wilhelm, by their numbers as accused, and to his mother as “Mrs Pretorius” throughout his evidence.
The 20 Boeremag accused, including his father and brothers, had all been convicted of high treason resulting from a far right-wing plot to violently overthrow the African National Congress-led government.
Pretorius handed a poem titled “Rape” to the court, in which he compared being raised by his parents to a young girl being raped by a man.
He found it upsetting when a psychiatrist later told him his description of rape was accurate, as it made him realise what trauma he had been put through as a child, and as an adult, until the age of 37.
According to Pretorius, his father was strict and often spanked him, to such an extent that he was scared of male teachers throughout his school years.
In primary school, he was chosen to play in the Craven week rugby, but withdrew at his father's urging because black children were also playing.
According to Pretorius, he initially regarded his father as his hero and could not function without him. He started realising only after several years in jail that his father was not the man he thought he was, and that he had to “unplug” himself from the hold his father had over him.
The final rift started when he told his father he did not want to stay with the family if he was granted bail, because his ideology, value system and religion differed from theirs.
“I grew up with the idea of white superiority, but I no longer feel that way,” he said.
After the hearing on Tuesday, Dr Pretorius handed a poem to journalists in which he described his pain and sorrow about his son.
The trial continues. - Sapa