Stuart Hess asks Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula: How about a 3D version of Dale Steyn instead of a R50m awards ceremony?
Melbourne - I faced Shane Warne at the Melbourne Cricket Ground on Wednesday. Twelve balls, and he told me what he was bowling before each delivery. Initially slow loopy deliveries – “to help get you started,” – and then some leg-spinners, a wrong ‘un, a flipper and a “zooter”.
I scored four runs, though I was officially marked down as scoring two – but I was robbed of a couple of runs that had come courtesy of a stunning lofted off-drive. Typical Australians. I also pulled a muscle in my neck, was bowled, and told off – “how have you not hit that,” Warne inquired of me?
Okay confession time: It wasn’t the real Warne, just a 3D version of him – slimmer than in his playing days – by way of a ‘Helmet-mounted display,’ (HMD) which is one of those funky devices they attach to your head and takes you into a cartoonish 3D world where you can face Warne in the middle of the MCG. As opposed to 95 000 spectators depicted as you look through the HMD, in reality I had an audience of five – security men and ushers at the National Sports Museum, which is located in the vastness that is the MCG, Australia’s most iconic sports venue. You have to sign an indemnity form lest you get injured while facing 3D “Warnie” so the MCG’s authorities won’t be paying for my neck massage.
There are several aspects of Australian sports that South Africa can mimic, and starting with a museum to celebrate the country’s sporting history, will be an excellent move. Never mind R50 million on an annual sports awards function, a better way to honour South African sportsmen and women is by creating a facility as impressive as Australia’s National Sports Museum.
Besides facing a 3D Warne, there’s a locker-room exhibition, also featuring Warne – this time as a hologram – talking about his experiences at “The G”, and enormous collections of medals, documents (including score-sheets, letters and newspaper clippings) jerseys, shoes and Cadel Evans’ bike on which he rode the last stage when winning the Tour de France in 2011. There are touch-screens at various posts if you want to learn more about a particular exhibit and of course the ubiquitous (in Australia) statue of Don Bradman.
This nation celebrates its sporting achievements and achievers like few others so it’s no surprise that the National Sports Museum should be such a reverential experience.
The country’s sportsmen and women are celebrated like few other areas of Australian society, indicative of the significant role that sport and especially the MCG has played in forging Australia’s standing in the world.
Cricket, naturally, forms a major part of what the museum offers, with the best treasures to be found in the MCC (Melbourne Cricket Club) room, where vases, ashtrays, tea-cups, portraits and plethora of trophies make for a wonderful journey through time. One of the highlights is the display of the “Blackham Ball” used at the end of the infamous Test match at The Oval in 1882 – which gave birth to the Ashes – and was pocketed at the end of that match by the Australian wicket-keeper Jack Blackham. He later auctioned it off for £617, to help fund Australia’s World War I effort.
Space is also reserved for each of the Test-playing nations, with the South African display topped by a mounted Springbok head that was presented to the Australian Cricket Board by a South African touring team in the 1931/32 season.
There is very little about South Africa’s success at the MCG, though the venue has been very good to teams from this country. Out of a total of 23 matches – covering all three formats – South Africa have emerged victorious 10 times and lost on 11 occasions. Most famously, of course, was the second Test at the MCG in 2008 and when JP Duminy’s 166 and Dale Steyn’s “ten-for” propelled South Africa to a Test series win.
They’ve faced Australia in eight One-Day Internationals there, losing for the first time last November. So they certainly wouldn’t mind returning on March 29 – when the final for this year’s World Cup will be played.
Before then, AB de Villiers’ team can add to the fine history of South African sides at the MCG, when they play defending champions India there in front of more than 95 000 people on Sunday.
There’s too much preparation ahead of that match for the players to pop in at the museum, but perhaps the hundreds of South Africans who are expected to be there can stop by and take some ideas back to SA for the garrulous Sports Minister to consider. Who needs Beyonce when you could have a 3D version of Dale Steyn bowling at you?
* Stuart Hess is a sports writer for Independent Media.
The Star