What’s been getting Dennis Pather's goat recently is the veritable flood of e-mails from companies in the US trying to lure him into entering the lottery for a green card.
Half the e-mail I receive comes from people offering me opportunities I dare not resist: prizes running into millions of dollars, discounts on exotic holidays and lucrative shares in offshore companies.
Of course, I know better than to fall for such scams and steer clear of them with a sterilised bargepole.
But what’s been getting my goat recently is the veritable flood of e-mails from companies in the US trying to lure me into entering the lottery for a green card, which opens the door to permanent residence in the so-called land of the free.
I wrote back to one company in irritation: “Can you give me one plausible reason why I would want to live permanently in your country?”
The response was swift. “Why not? Half the world out there would give their right arm to get hold of a green card. It’s a passport to utopia.” “What utter balderdash,” I wrote back. “Can you imagine me living in a country run by an ignorant, impulsive and egocentric loose cannon?”
By now, my blood pressure had shot its bolt and I launched into an angry tirade to put this smart-ass American in his place. “I’ll have you know that I will never, even in my darkest hour, wish to live under a scandal-prone president unfit to hold office. I cannot have any respect for someone who fails to uphold the constitution of his country, a man who thinks he is some tin-pot dictator and a law unto himself, someone who takes decisions that are in his interests alone and not of his country.
“And what’s been especially nauseating is the manner in which he summarily fires people he believes are an obstacle to his grand plans
“It's also depressing that although many people can see he's not the right man for the job, his spineless party members follow him obsequiously. They don’t have the guts to stand up to him and tell him he is leading the country astray - simply because they’re looking for job security.
“No, sir, I have some major problems with a president who only looks after his own interests and those of his immediate family. Some in his family have been allowed to take advantage of the president’s position and make deals to enrich themselves.
“Then there’s the issue of the president’s misogynistic tendencies. I respect the rights of women and cannot tolerate behaviour that undermines their dignity”
A deafening pause of several days followed before I received the insolent response: “Sorry, Mr Pather, but which president are you referring to? Yours or mine?”