Black woman, you're on your own

Screengrab

Screengrab

Published Mar 22, 2017

Share

Social media commenters, the media and observers of a quarrel between two Spur patrons chose to highlight the racism aspect of the spat before acknowledging the angle of violence against women and children, writes Adrian Ephraim.

A brief history of the miniskirt. It started as a symbol of resistance in the 1960s and has evolved over time to be commercialised and debated over as an icon of an era. Mary Quant, André Courrèges, John Bates and Jean Varon have all been credited with its invention, but really this is not important right now.

What is important is that the miniskirt became the symbol of an awakening for women who until then were barely seen in public, let alone with wearing less than what was deemed by men to be acceptable. It was the time of Mad Men and chauvinism, bootlegging and excess – for the men, while the wife stayed home and looked after the kids. It’s enough to leave today’s generation puzzled and almost bemused. “How could they accept that?” 

We’d like to think that times have changed and that men have changed their attitude towards women, but I’m yet to be convinced. By and large men still get away with murder, quite literally in some cases, by virtue of being a man in society. “Why did she have to dress that way?” “Why did she have to tell him to f**k off?” “Why did she make him angry?” “Why did she fight back?” “Why did she ….” But we’ve heard this before. It is the overwhelming reaction when a man and woman clash in public.

A recent video that apparently “went viral” shows a white male and black female in a heated argument at a Spur restaurant in Johannesburg. The male alleged that Lebohang Mabuya’s child had hit his daughter and that she should teach her daughter not to do that. We did subsequent learn that both kids hit each other, and that the man grabbed the woman's child's arm to reprimand her.

Whether the argument was justified is relevant now, because the man’s reaction and the woman’s defence of her child are what everyone is now talking about. But an adult man grabbed another person's child by the arm in anger. Stop right there.

It’s interesting to note that observers, commenters and the media chose to highlight the racism here first before we acknowledged the angle of violence against women and children.

The man’s threatening actions and language were extremely violent to a point where the woman must have feared for her safety and that of her children, and yet the headlines screamed racism. What does that say about us?

Make no mistake, this was racist too, and perhaps was even borne out of a racist upbringing in a fragmented society. 

You’re probably wondering what this has to do with a miniskirt. It has everything to do with the miniskirt, because it’s happening around us.

Last week, a circular addressed to all Zimbabwean civil servants forbade the use of miniskirts, sleeveless outfits and tight-fitting clothes. Let’s pause for a moment to take that in. In 2017, the government of Zimbabwe, among others, is dictating how women should dress for fear of tempting older, male government co-workers? Once again, the miniskirt becomes the focus of male versus female power struggles.

The humble miniskirt, which we are meant to celebrate as a symbol of women’s liberation and resistance, is reduced to horny old men’s kryptonite. So you thought we’ve moved on from the 1960s? Try 1860s. Women are still in a fight to the death for basic rights and recognition. We still ask more questions of women than we do of men.

Not that women are incapable of defending themselves, as the woman in the Spur incident demonstrated.

Women in Zimbabwe are not taking the miniskirt ban lying down either. This is the priceless response of one affected woman: “How do they expect me to hike 45km back home to Norton just to change into something they feel is more acceptable? These are sex perverts who can’t control their feelings! I think there is a need for people to accept that we live in a global village.”

Another said: “Really? Is this what we have reduced ourselves to? There are a lot of more pressing issues of state which need addressing and all the government can think of is how we dress?”

If the situation in Zimbabwe won’t convince you of the worsening situation we are in with regards to women’s rights, maybe the name Bruno Fernandes de Souza will change your mind.

The former Brazilian football player was sentenced to more than 20 years in prison for ordering the murder of his ex-girlfriend. She was tortured, butchered, dismembered and fed to dogs.

Bruno spent four years in prison before being released on a technicality. Soon afterwards he was signed by a professional football team. In Brazil a woman is killed every two hours and assaulted every 15 seconds, most often by someone she knows.

Many of us would have cried out in defence of Bruno’s victim or even against the ban on miniskirts. But how many of us would have come to the defence of the woman at Spur? How many of us would have told her to sit down and stop talking back?

Racism and women’s rights are not the same as some would like us to believe. But for some reason we relegate women’s rights to a secondary struggle, to be addressed only once we exorcise this demon called racism, and poverty and homelessness.

Where is the equality in that?

*Adrian Ephraim is the Group Digital Content Editor and Editor of African Independent

IOL

Related Topics: