‘I will always love Joost. I have been married to him and he is the father of my children. But I no longer respect him as a husband.”
Amor Vittone said this as she opened her heart to the Pretoria News in an exclusive interview on Wednesday. She was speaking for the first time since her estranged husband, Joost van der Westhuizen, began divorce proceedings against her.
She made it clear that she did not want to air their dirty laundry in public, but said she had no choice but “set the record straight”, as Joost had been telling the media that she was trying to keep their children, Jordan, 8, and Kylie, 6, away from him. He is also said to have levelled other allegations against her.
Speaking from the office of lawyer Selwyn Shapiro, who is representing her in the divorce, Amor was adamant that she was not keeping the children from Joost.
“I am in fact encouraging him to see the children. He has always had reasonable access to them. I have never kept them away from their father and I want them to spend time with him.
“But it is a balancing act.
“I am not unsympathetic towards his illness (Joost has motor neurone disease). In fact, I have a lot of sympathy, but my children come first. How can I send them to him for a weekend if he cannot even look after himself?”
Amor said if Joost had someone to assist him with the children, it would not be a problem. He often visited their Joburg home, where she was staying for now.
They had been together over the weekend, when Kyle had her birthday party. “We sat together and my father made an effort. He told him that we don’t want to fight.” On Wednesday, Amor and Joost attended their daughter’s party at school.
Amor said she could not understand why Joost was “splashing our private lives in the media”, as he had said in no uncertain terms that he was done with the media.
She said that since their split nearly two years ago, she had been trying to avoid their differences being aired publicly.
“A broken relationship, the causes and the acrimony engendered by a contested divorce are painful and traumatic enough, but media scrutiny makes it worse.
“Although my husband and I are engaged in a contested divorce, it is my desire to have those proceedings finalised as soon as possible.
“My husband has threatened on various occasions, and more so recently, that he would ruin me.”
Amor said Joost had sent her the interview he gave to a magazine.
“It is clear from the contents that I am the victim of a calculated plot to attempt to vilify me, blame me and to defame me. As I have attempted to refrain from airing dirty laundry, the result has been a one-sided version intended to destroy my image.”
Amor said that contrary to the claims, she had not formed inappropriate relationships while living with Joost, and did not seek to have his relationship with his former doctor, Jody Pearl, severed. “Whatever my differences with him may be, he remains the father of our children and from that point of view needs my respect and support.”
Amor is of the opinion that Joost is using his illness and the children to gain public sympathy.
“People said I left Joost because he is ill and I don’t want him to see the children, but this is not true.”
Their marriage had been happy for eight years, but the secretly filmed sex and drugs video showing Joost with a stripper had been too much for Amor, as were things that happened subsequently. For months she had stood by Joost and believed in him, until he admitted he was the man in the video.
“I never watched the video because I did not want to know. He kept denying it was him and I heard the truth 10 minutes before I was to go on stage to give a performance.”
Amor said she had wanted to institute divorce proceedings, but Joost jumped the gun.
“A man was waiting for me one night at the gate of my home as I returned from doing a TV show and served me the papers.”
Shapiro said the parties were trying to reach a settlement.
Amor said she wanted it all behind her, so she and Joost could be friends again.
“I cry a lot, but I must be strong for the children.”
AMOR TIMELINE
December 21, 2002 – married
2006 – the much-talked about sex video is filmed
February 14, 2009 – Sunday newspaper Rapport for the first time makes mention of the video
February 16, 2009 – Heat magazine breaks the story of Joost and drug scandal
November 1, 2009 – Joost for the first time admits, in his biography, that he is the man in the video
November 2, 2009 – SuperSport fires Joost
May 22, 2010 – Joost and Amor split up
August 5, 2010 – Joost issues summons against Amor for divorce - - Pretoria News