I’ve dealt with cancer and losing my brother prematurely. I’ve dealt with difficult things in my life. But I don’t think I’ve ever had a more difficult day and I don’t think I’ve ever had a day when I’ve disliked myself as I do now.”
This is how Darren Scott summed up the days after an altercation with a Jacaranda FM colleague, during which he called him a kaffir. Scott has since left the station and is on an indefinite leave of absence from SuperSport.
Speaking to the Tribune at his Hartbeespoort Dam home, Scott admitted he needed to look within himself and come to grips with “personal problems”.
“I’m a guy that talks straight and sometimes I get myself into trouble. Some people know I have a short fuse so will go out of their way to provoke me. I’m not the type of guy who’s going to turn my back and let them carry on. I’ll try sort it out there and then.
“You can call the guy a prick or something, but I used the k-word. I’ve got to seriously think if there’s something inside me that harbours some form of racism, because I would never have said I was racist at all. I’ve got to think about it, deal with it and try process all of this.”
As he speaks, Scott rubs his face and eyes regularly and sips a cup of strong coffee. He looks tired and the strain is evident.
The altercation happened last Friday night during a team-building event at the Mabula Game Lodge in North West, but had been building for some time.
Scott said he repeatedly lent money to his colleague, Africa Tshoaedi, but had never been paid back.
In total, he had lent about R6 000, the biggest single payment was R3 000.
“If he’d… acknowledged the debt and offered to pay it back, even if just a few hundred rand a month, I would have told him not to worry. It got up my nose that he had subsequently bought a house and a car. But I must emphasise this is not an excuse. The fact remains that what I said, I said, and I don’t like myself for saying it.”
Scott and his team were at the lodge bar. Most of the crew had been drinking since early in the evening. At one point, Tshoaedi, who had also been drinking, came over to them. Scott said Tshoaedi was acting as if they were “lifelong mates”. Given their history, Scott reacted.
“I told him to leave. He stood there and smiled at me, so I told him to f*** off.” Tshoaedi left, but came back a while later.
“During that exchange, that’s when I used the k-word. Some of my team jumped in and tried to calm the situation. I got up and went to bed,” Scott said.
The next morning, he spoke to the station’s management and apologised.
“I tried to call Tshoaedi six or seven times. He told me afterwards that he didn’t feel like he wanted to talk to me at that stage.”
At a meeting between the two and the human resources department the following Monday, Scott apologised. The two met privately afterwards and, again, Scott apologised.
“We shook hands and went our separate ways. That meeting ended very amicably.”
Jacaranda marketing manager Jenny Griesel said yesterday that Tshoaedi didn’t want to comment on the incident.
“It’s true that there was that issue (the loans) in the background. Africa confirmed that an altercation did happen and the k-word was used on him. But he also said that the two did chat and cleared the air. He doesn’t hold any grudges,” she said yesterday.
Irrespective of the circumstances, Scott knows he messed up.
“I didn’t just offend one oke, I offended a lot of people. I am truly sorry. No one made me say it; there is no mitigating factor for using the k-word. It was f****** stupid. You simply don’t use that word.”
He insists he’s never used it before.
“That’s why it was such a shock (to me). It would never even come close to my mouth to refer to someone like that.”
One of the most difficult things for him to handle was not hearing from good friend Breyton Paulse, the former Springbok wing.
“I hadn’t heard from him in two days, and I was thinking, ‘Have I f***** that friendship up now because of my own stupidity?’.
“But he phoned me this morning (Friday) and said he wanted to give me a few days to get my mind right. He’s working on the World Cup and is going to come spend some time at my house.
“This country takes steps forward all the time, and there are people that drag it backwards – I don’t want to be one of those people. I had an American Green Card and gave it back because I love this country so much. I hate to think I’ve dragged it backwards.”
Given what happened, does Scott believe there is a way back after all of this?
“I don’t know,” he says, pausing and breathing deeply. “But if it is, I’ve got to deal with it. I’ve come back from things before, but I’ve never had a vision of where this is going to end up.
“I’m not trying to save a situation here. I’m not trying to save a job or anything. I just want to get to a point where I feel better about myself.”
He is worried about the people who have supported him.
“I want nothing to do with them. I don’t want to be a poster boy for anyone that promotes racism. It’s been difficult looking at social media and having people go, ‘Rah-rah, well done’. There is no justification for what I said.”
Amid the turmoil, his family and friends, including wife Sarah-Kate Seaward, have stood by his side.
“They don’t condone what I said, but they are supporting me.
“This has been incredibly difficult. It’s been a life-changing experience,” he said. - Tribune