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Parents need to ensure that innocent childs play remains just that.

Sexual abuse of children by children was a hot topic at a recent education conference held by the National Professional Teachers’ Organisation. It’s time to take back our children, say experts.

The daycare centre seemed like a safe and fun environment for three young friends, a three-year-old boy and two girls aged three and four. That was until the boy allegedly tried to stick an object into the girls’ private parts.

The parents of the three-year-old girl have laid a charge of assault against the boy. After being examined by a forensic surgeon, it was found that an object had been inserted into the girl’s vagina.

Her parents reported that after the incident, the little girl’s behaviour changed. She not only complained of nightmares, but began to show distrust of people and refused to go to school. In a separate incident, a five-year-old boy in Grade R tried to have sex with a female classmate in rural Nqabeni in the Umzimkhulu district in KwaZulu-Natal. The girl reported it to her teacher.

Recently a primary school pupil in Isipingo proudly showed a porn clip he had recorded on his phone after catching his older brother watching porn the previous night.

Child behaviour experts say such incidents are becoming more common as children are increasingly exposed to pornography and sexual images at a younger age.

Joan van Niekerk of Childline SA said almost 43 percent of crimes reported to Childline were committed by people under the age of 18. However, according to the Child Justice Act (2008), children cannot be held criminally liable for their behaviour until age 10.

“Myths about childhood sexuality need to be dispelled. People think children are not sexual beings and are not capable of arousal or orgasms. Children are curious about their own bodies and other people’s bodies,” said Van Niekerk.

She said children copied adult behaviour and parents had to control their relationships and sexual interaction, exercising restraint and discretion when appropriate.

“Parents should monitor what their children are exposed to on TV. Often children who have observed sexual interaction and are not taught what is acceptable have unacceptable physical interaction with other children and adults,” she said.

Van Niekerk said Central Institute of Educational Technology Africa research indicated that a third of children had some sexual experience by the age of 12. The Medical Research Council set the age even lower.

“The absence of fathers as appropriate role models makes it difficult for young boys to define what masculinity is. A recent report states that only 35 percent of South African children grow up with their fathers. They take on the music and film versions of masculinity, which are often characterised by violence.”

Thora Mansfield of the Open Door Crisis Centre in Pinetown, which visits 12 schools every week to offer counselling and play groups, agreed that child-on-child assaults were increasing, with some perpetrators being as young as eight or nine.

She believes there is not enough parental control of TV viewing. “Parents think it is fine to watch a show with their children where the actors jump into bed. Internet porn is also very accessible.

“Parents need to take more responsibility; their homes are supposed to be safe havens, which is no longer the case. Society has lost its moral standing. Where are our ethical values?” she asked.

Teachers say pupils have become more sexualised over the years, with general interest shown at age 10. A teacher from Isipingo who wouldn’t be named said pupils were sexually active at 13. The teacher attributes the early awareness of sex to exposure to technology at a younger age and lack of parental supervision.

A teacher from Nqabeni said many children lived in one-room homes where their parents had sex openly, and the children imitated the behaviour.

Education department provincial spokesman Sihle Mloyshwa said it was the duty of teachers to educate pupils, especially in Grade R, about sexual exploration and behaviour when it came to other people’s private parts.

“Subjects like life orientation are there to educate pupils about their private parts and how to behave towards someone of the opposite sex. The department has also come up with the ‘My Life, My Future’ campaign to fight social ills such as sexual violence, pregnancy and other things that affect pupils.“

Loretta Naidoo, a senior social worker at the Phoenix Child and Welfare Society, said domestic violence, substance abuse, child abuse and neglect and a lack of parental control were contributing factors.

“If all a child knows is dysfunction, they will think it is normal and as a result take on different roles to cope. The level of abuse we are seeing is extreme – from young children molesting other children to fathers raping their own daughters. Mothers often turn a blind eye and prefer to stay in the relationship and have their child removed from the home.”

Pam Picken of non-profit organisation Training Resources Early Education (Tree) said early childhood development was key.

“There are 1.5 million children in the province under the age of six and 61 percent live in dire poverty. The first six years of a child’s life are important – 50 to 80 percent of brain functionality and growth occurs then. This age carries an extreme risk if conditions are not right for holistic development.”

Van Niekerk said parents were important role models. “Parents must teach principles, values and ethics and reward behaviour that reflect these.” - Sunday Tribune