Cape Town -
President Jacob Zuma owned up to Nkandla and resigned, former cricket captain Graeme Smith has started a political party, journalists were given a guided tour of Nkandla and the SABC, Independent News and Media and The New Age have merged as one pro-government media giant.
And what is more amazing is all these, as well as some other earth-shaking events around the world, happened in the wee hours of April 1.
April 1, known to be a day on which many weird things happen, once again appeared to be the most productive day for humans, as the world woke up to numerous impossible tales of strange goings on.
Some were subtle, in their bid to catch out April fools, while others were more blatant, opting for the comedy effect and staying on the safe side by not taking the risk of turning foolish people into angry people.
A penguin at a zoo in Devon, England, laid a golden egg, according to The Guardian newspaper.
The Independent offered a report claiming the UN would be sending a peace-keeping force to the Scottish border in case the Scots voted in favour of independence.
The typically over-the-top Sun said Queen Elizabeth II had decided to allow fracking to go ahead on the grounds of Buckingham Palace.
The Star and the Cape Times carried advertisments about a sex tax being imposed by the government because the country was becoming overpopulated.
The Pretoria News claimed that the Springboks would lose the green and get red when they play Wales in June. The kit’s striking new colour evokes feelings of passion, strength, courage and power, the newspaper said.
IOL reported that all the buildings on Robben Island would be moved to provide a people-free habitat for the endangered Western cape Leopard Toad.
The Times, on its front page, reported it was possible to avoid paying e-tolls by travelling at precisely 113km/h under the toll gantries.
According to the report, a whistleblower had warned the SA National Roads Agency Limited (Sanral) to remove the glitch from the system, known as Prying on Every Person Holding Out Legally (Poephol).
The Mail and Guardian swore they had been allowed to send a team on a tour of Nkandla.
It was also revealed to them that certain structures at Nkandla were going to be physically transferred to other state properties in order to curb the negativity around it.
On Tuesday morning, the DA announced the provincial government was going to do a complete make-over of Premier Helen Zille’s home in Rosebank.
The initial upgrade would cost about R20 million but Western Cape Finance MEC Alan Winde said “everyone knows these things often run way over budget, so the Western Cape Government has set aside R246 million for inevitable cost overruns”.
The home would be called Amandla, he said, and Zille tweeted “I am absolutely determined to relocate my neighbours. I have always coveted their house.”
The source of the tale about the new pro-government media house was the Daily Maverick, which said the empire was being created in order to tell “the true story of South Africa”.
Of course, as a serious newspaper, the Cape Argus does not engage in the frivolities of SA’s media mavericks.
Their stories are as “tall” as the slopes of Devil’s Peak, which will be such a fantastic part of Cape Town’s 2026 Winter Olympic bid.
Cape Argus