Johannesburg – For years, Lindiwe* suffered sexual and physical abuse at the hands of her boyfriend and the father of her child.
One day, however, she made the brave decision to leave him as well as get a protection order against him. That was six months ago.
As the country marks the annual 16 days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children, centres for women looking for a place of safety are full to the brim and many are functioning because of the generosity of churches and NPOs.
“It was a Sunday when I finally left him,” Lindiwe recalled. “We had been invited to a party and he got drunk. He slapped me and then started beating me in front of everyone. I ran away and he followed me. I managed to get to my aunt’s house and stayed there for two days before social workers referred me to this shelter.”
Lindiwe has managed to cut ties with her ex and is looking forward to exiting the shelter and embarking on a new life. However, she remains emotional about the trauma she underwent. “He forced me to have sex with him and often he would lock me in a room. He was very jealous. Even if I was with the girls, he thought they would attract men,” said Lindiwe, who has three scars on her face from the physical abuse she endured. When Lindiwe arrived at the women’s centre, she didn’t have an ID or her one-year-old son’s birth certificate.
Since her arrival at the shelter, she has been taught beading, earring making and computer skills. “I have learnt so much from the social workers and we have been taught a number of skills so I can try to provide for my son when I leave here,” she said.
Deli Dube, a social worker for the victim empowerment programme of another shelter in Gauteng, said that when they can’t house a walk-in victim or one referred by the SAPS, they take them to another registered institution.
The shelter can house abused women and their children for six months, so those institutions are usually full. “We give them six to seven months to add to their skills and receive counselling. We also help them with documents and applying for grants,” Dube said.
One of the first things the victim was encouraged to do was take out a protection order against the alleged abuser within a week. That serves as proof that the woman has been abused and assists the shelters to keep the alleged abusers from communicating with their victims. “The protection order also shows the abuser that the matter is now between them and the law. The shelter is often their last option and my responsibility is to strengthen the family support system and help them integrate back into society,” she added.
An application for a protection order may be brought on behalf of the complainant by any person with interest in the well-being of the complainant. Dube said her shelter can accommodate 20 people and currently has eight women and 13 children. During the 16 days, they were planning a door-to-door campaign, telling residents the process to follow when there is suspected abuse.
*Name has been changed to protect the victim