Heard the one about Shakes, Mmusi and JZ?

Dillan Oliphant

Dillan Oliphant

Published Nov 19, 2016

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Johannesburg - After months of scorching jokes, barbed insults and sizzling one-liners, the grand finale of Comedy Central’s Roast Battle is finally upon us.

On Thursday, six of South Africa’s top comedians will step into the ring at Parker's Comedy Club in Montecasino and go head-to-head, in a battle to be crowned the ultimate Roast Battle champion. Competing are comedians Mark Banks, Donovan Goliath, Dillan Oliphant, Thabiso Mhlongo, Richelieu Beaunoir and Dave Levinsohn. We put them to the test:

Donovan Goliath Picture: Supplied

Tell us your best joke about the Gupta brothers.

All that money and the Guptas still look like creepy uncles who shouldn’t be allowed within 100m of a school.

Who would you love to roast?

Fikile Mbalula. He has zero chill and would probably fire a deadly roast back at me.

 

Dave Levinsohn Picture: Supplied

Tell us your best joke about Bafana manager Shakes Mashaba.

Don’t know much about football but I do get the shakes’ watching Bafana play.

Who would you love to roast and why?

Thuli Madonsela.Maybe if she spoke a bit faster we’d have that report by now.

 

Richelieu Beaunoir Picture: Supplied

Tell us the best joke about the DA’s Mmusi Maimane?

I would definitely ask him how much airtime he has on his phone because he makes hundreds of calls to prospective voters, being the official DA call centre agent.

Who would you love to roast and why?

It would have to be Nhlanhla Nene. I feel that he fell off his chair and it just passed too quietly. Then he got fired and replaced by someone who didn’t qualify for that position.

 

Thabiso Mhlongo Picture: Supplied

Tell us the best joke about the EFF’s Julius Malema.

Julius Malema’s marks at school were a point of discussion for a while, so it would be a joke like “Julius is a married man now, all those things are in the past, I hope your wood works now.”

Who would you love to roast and why?

It would have been Mandoza. Just to have been close to him, as I've been a fan of him since day one. His CD was the first one I purchased with my own money.

But now I would roast Cassper Nyovest. It’s a simple case of let’s see if 'God can bleed' type of vibe.

 

Dillian Oliphant Picture: Supplied

Your best joke about Zuma?

When Jacob Zuma reads books of the Bible, he skips Numbers.

Who would you love to roast and why?

Steve Hoyfmeyr. He’s been roasted before but deserves more hurtful things thrown at him.

 

Mark Banks Picture: Supplied

Your best Trump joke?

Socrates said, “To be is to do.” Plato said, “To do is to be” and Frank Sinatra said, “Do-be-do-be-do.”

Who would you love to roast and why?

Chris Forrest - because there is a lot to eat.

Saturday Star

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