The weird world of hotel Mr Fix-Its

Comment on this story


Copy of nt private-concierge

.

Looking for the unattainable while staying in a hotel in a foreign city? Simply ring a concierges bell, and your wish could be granted.

Simon Usborne

“A good concierge sees everything but holds his tongue.”

Discreet? Quick thinker? You might just have what it takes to do one of the most exacting jobs in hotels.

Disaster! There are minutes to spare until a band of musicians strike their drums to mark the start of a glittering Indian wedding. But wait, cries a guest in the hotel lobby, my sari has torn. Not even blinking, the head concierge reaches for his desk drawer as if for a cape and mask. He fetches, instead, a sewing kit. In a flash, the sari has been repaired, the guest is on her way.

Sean O’Beirne is no superman, but rather an amiable 22-year-old whose needle skills would make his Irish mum proud. Nor does the costume drama come close to stretching his talents. But it offers an insight into a peculiar profession steeped in tradition, lore and secrecy, whose members deal in the unpredictable, the barely obtainable and, occasionally, the “I’m sorry, sir, but that won’t be possible”.

O’Beirne has been a concierge at London Syon Park since the hotel opened last year in the grounds of the house of the same name, the west London home of the Duke of Northumberland. It is part of the Waldorf Astoria group. The firm claims its new, personalised “true Waldorf service” evokes the spirit of the first Waldorf Astoria – the marriage, in 1931, of two landmark Manhattan hotels.

I join O’Beirne at the bar to talk shop, and to test his skills. Not being the sort of hotel guest who expects more than a working toilet and warm scrambled eggs at the buffet, I imagine what it might be like to be, well, loaded. Sean, what would you do if I called down to say there’s a tiger in the bathroom that may or may not belong to Mike Tyson? “That would be one for housekeeping,” he says (he’s seen The Hangover, too).

OK, more seriously, oysters. I want the best anywhere in London, and I want them, like, yesterday. “I could recommend good places I know but I have a good contact at our Park Lane property who I would call to be sure. Alternatively, we could provide the equipment for you to catch a trout from our lake and bring it back to our chef who can cook it the way you like it.”

O’Beirne, who started working in hospitality at 16 in his local pub, has the key attributes of a concierge. He’s quick-thinking, resourceful and always armed with an alternative. His service, which includes contact by e-mail before a guest has packed their bags, is impressive, but he admits he has much to learn before he can be called a master.

“Concierge” supposedly derives from the French comte des cierges, or keeper of the candles, whose job it was to look after guests at medieval castles. Later, after the dawn of the age of tourism, “candles” became “keys” and, until recently, one of the concierge’s most important duties was to lock the doors of his hotel (and know when – and to whom – to open them).

As the world slid into depression at the end of the Twenties, concierges in Europe decided to start working together. A 1929 meeting in Paris laid the foundations for what became Les Clefs d’Or, or the Golden Keys – the international union for hotel concierges. Its members, who number more than 300 in Britain, must be nominated and pass rigorous tests before they may adorn their lapel with a golden key (O’Beirne is working towards his).

Frank Laino has more stories than he could share after more than 20 years as a concierge in London, where he was born in Battersea to Italian parents. Now 53, he’s the man with the golden key at The Stafford, a five-star hotel in St James’s. “People in hotels can behave in a curious manner,” he says, “but a good concierge sees everything and holds his tongue.”

Go on, Frank, what’s the strangest request you’ve had? “I had a client who had a very small dog that shivered the whole time, like a bag of bones. She told me it was very difficult to find it jackets. I told her, jokingly, that she should have one made in Savile Row. She said she thought that would be a very good idea. So I called some friends who were tailors and they made two little coats, one in tweed check and the other in plain burgundy.”

More recently, Laino was asked by a guest to help him with an unusual mission.

The man, a wealthy American doctor, wanted to see all 34 paintings attributed to the Dutch painter, Johannes Vermeer. “He had got to number 32,” Laino recalls. “Number 33 was inside a private room at Buckingham Palace.”

More important even than a fast wit and UN-standard diplomacy skills is a concierge’s contacts book. If you’re not on first-name terms with the best maître d’s, ticket agents and tailors, you’re not going to be much help. Laino won’t reveal who he called at the palace, but the doctor got his private viewing.

“I had another old American client who loved riding London buses,” he says. “He had read an article about the old London Routemasters being phased out. He called and said, ‘Frank, can we buy one of these?’ I investigated and arranged for one to be shipped to him. It was actually quite easy.”

Laino says that throughout his career, a concierge would never do anything illegal or immoral – although, he adds: “From time to time the boundaries get pushed.” Despite the modernisation of his profession, best represented by O’Beirne and the next generation of concierges, he says: “We’ve hopefully retained a bit of an entrepreneurial streak.” – The Independent


sign up
 
 

Comment Guidelines



  1. Please read our comment guidelines.
  2. Login and register, if you haven’ t already.
  3. Write your comment in the block below and click (Post As)
  4. Has a comment offended you? Hover your mouse over the comment and wait until a small triangle appears on the right-hand side. Click triangle () and select "Flag as inappropriate". Our moderators will take action if need be.

     

Newspaper Subscriptions
Doodlebug106
I'm a 23 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 20 and 35.
View Profile
hmz
I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 40.
View Profile
candyx
I'm a 39 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 42 and 46.
View Profile
Hotbynature
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 22 and 25.
View Profile
ME_JE
I'm a 42 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 50.
View Profile
spoonkie
I'm a 23 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 27 and 35.
View Profile
Nolly_027
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 18 and 100.
View Profile
nelloma
I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 36.
View Profile
czjlova
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 19 and 60.
View Profile
Nadia1405
I'm a 21 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 21 and 25.
View Profile
Annie426
I'm a 23 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 22 and 32.
View Profile
Kelly_166
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 27 and 34.
View Profile
1967_pyv
I'm a 46 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 55.
View Profile
sugarplumgal
I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
View Profile
daph468
I'm a 35 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 46.
View Profile
DinnydBobbyb
I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 50.
View Profile
MagentaD
I'm a 24 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 21 and 33.
View Profile
sematsi
I'm a 21 year old woman looking to meet men and women between the ages of 25 and 29.
View Profile
Exoticlove444
I'm a 34 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 50.
View Profile
ALTO_712
I'm a 47 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 51.
View Profile
mazet23
I'm a 27 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 26 and 37.
View Profile
MssLee
I'm a 29 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 40.
View Profile
mako_001
I'm a 34 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 70.
View Profile
Immaculate8m
I'm a 26 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 48.
View Profile
Morester3
I'm a 46 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 66.
View Profile
Bue42
I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 40.
View Profile
Taya_38
I'm a 38 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 45.
View Profile
butterfly3R
I'm a 40 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 45.
View Profile
sehnb123
I'm a 35 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 34 and 50.
View Profile
Coret
I'm a 37 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 18 and 100.
View Profile
Intriguing_
I'm a 39 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 48.
View Profile
JhbNewby
I'm a 27 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 27 and 37.
View Profile
mtshali074
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 58.
View Profile
N21
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 23 and 30.
View Profile
Sweetpea1977
I'm a 36 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 34 and 48.
View Profile
gigi0019
I'm a 43 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 48.
View Profile
phatmadam
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 34 and 42.
View Profile
Blaq_chic
I'm a 25 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
honeydrops
I'm a 21 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 23 and 28.
View Profile
Arani
I'm a 29 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 47.
View Profile
BabaORiley
I'm a 27 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 32.
View Profile
StubbornLove
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 40.
View Profile
abbygail_016
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 35.
View Profile
CelestialSoul24
I'm a 35 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 41.
View Profile
Nonopie
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 27 and 35.
View Profile
ntando_784
I'm a 33 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 50.
View Profile
Soulmateseeker_931
I'm a 50 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 55.
View Profile
mimizana063
I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 50.
View Profile
Sweetlipsss627
I'm a 20 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 50.
View Profile
lulubaby
I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 70.
View Profile
candy954
I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 42 and 65.
View Profile
YOLO123
I'm a 48 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 36 and 47.
View Profile
belle23
I'm a 35 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 40.
View Profile
CelesteVR
I'm a 39 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 48.
View Profile
BlackRidingHood
I'm a 23 year old woman looking to meet men and women between the ages of 24 and 40.
View Profile
honeybee_600
I'm a 24 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 24 and 35.
View Profile
Shismis
I'm a 46 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 55.
View Profile
Miss_B_183
I'm a 26 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 40.
View Profile
potentialdifference
I'm a 24 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
Stheh123
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 30.
View Profile
Afrochic_885
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 35.
View Profile
kaer
I'm a 21 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 23 and 28.
View Profile
tmay
I'm a 36 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 37 and 42.
View Profile
nebo156
I'm a 37 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 49.
View Profile
ONTHA_042
I'm a 31 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
View Profile
Pennym
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
Sweet141
I'm a 36 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 37.
View Profile
Azanda
I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
View Profile
malizba_122
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 43.
View Profile
8005jvs
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 42.
View Profile
codelyne
I'm a 25 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 27 and 35.
View Profile
sirena
I'm a 46 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 55.
View Profile
Goldengirl665
I'm a 25 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 35.
View Profile
destinyrider
I'm a 39 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 34 and 48.
View Profile
1993
I'm a 20 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 20 and 38.
View Profile
Sedy001
I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
View Profile
Musa_CGA
I'm a 34 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 35.
View Profile
Trueman585
I'm a 38 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 23 and 35.
View Profile
adiedee
I'm a 49 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 27 and 45.
View Profile
handsome446
I'm a 38 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
countryboy1976
I'm a 37 year old man looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 37.
View Profile
Tshepon
I'm a 36 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 32.
View Profile
kaykay_400
I'm a 28 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 21 and 34.
View Profile
williegui_23
I'm a 44 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 21 and 48.
View Profile
obasol
I'm a 35 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
holatumza
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 100.
View Profile
Mistercharming
I'm a 31 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 21 and 30.
View Profile
Bengga
I'm a 24 year old man looking to meet men between the ages of 20 and 45.
View Profile
Fiba01
I'm a 28 year old man looking to meet men between the ages of 18 and 45.
View Profile
Loxman
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 20 and 60.
View Profile
moli72
I'm a 41 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 20 and 28.
View Profile
molemela
I'm a 20 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 22.
View Profile
pianoman1984
I'm a 29 year old man looking to meet men between the ages of 18 and 40.
View Profile
Dynamite007
I'm a 30 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 100.
View Profile
Gotthe_Tshirt
I'm a 47 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 36 and 50.
View Profile
Argan30
I'm a 31 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 25.
View Profile
Washe
I'm a 36 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 33.
View Profile
nihurt
I'm a 58 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 60.
View Profile
Mazing
I'm a 39 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 27 and 45.
View Profile
bazee
I'm a 47 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 38 and 45.
View Profile
khustaa
I'm a 31 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 20 and 35.
View Profile
Eliastrons32
I'm a 26 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 24.
View Profile
durbanpoizon
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 35.
View Profile
daydreamer907
I'm a 66 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 55.
View Profile
senza_di_lei
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 32 and 42.
View Profile
proguyfound
I'm a 49 year old man looking to meet men between the ages of 18 and 57.
View Profile
palmjm
I'm a 36 year old man looking to meet men between the ages of 18 and 45.
View Profile
spinner73
I'm a 40 year old man looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 50.
View Profile
RDR_ZN
I'm a 45 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
SBO111
I'm a 39 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 32.
View Profile
livepure
I'm a 30 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 21 and 31.
View Profile
SonofEntropy
I'm a 26 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 35.
View Profile
Inno1983
I'm a 30 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 35.
View Profile
Clownstotheleftofme
I'm a 44 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 32 and 41.
View Profile
TateTido
I'm a 21 year old man looking to meet men between the ages of 18 and 25.
View Profile
Gigson
I'm a 39 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 23 and 36.
View Profile
FeistyT
I'm a 26 year old man looking to meet men between the ages of 26 and 30.
View Profile
ddreamzz
I'm a 32 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
JUDE_730
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 30 and 42.
View Profile
Love2220
I'm a 37 year old man looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 35.
View Profile
maviny
I'm a 27 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 30.
View Profile
StarrySkies
I'm a 37 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 38.
View Profile
DreamingAwake
I'm a 47 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 28 and 44.
View Profile
Takeme
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 100.
View Profile
gebszn
I'm a 34 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 30.
View Profile
Vbe2014
I'm a 36 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 30.
View Profile