Sponsored Links:
AFP
The filter will, as at present, offer protection for every computer, games console, e-reader or other device accessing the internet via the family broadband connection.
Anyone who has ever caught a teenager looking at porn on the internet knows the feeling of shock and disbelief.
Anita (not her real name) woke up to the dangers of internet porn when by chance she checked “history” to find a website she had visited a week earlier, only to discover a plethora of porn sites.
“I nearly died. I clicked through to see exactly what my teenage boy had been watching. It was just disgusting. Threesomes. Oral sex. Masturbation. Videos. Hard core pictures. I was horrified.”
Anita thought she was a savvy parent. She and her husband, a teacher, were determined to control the internet. At an early stage, they tied up the children’s computer.
When their eldest daughter got her own PC, they took over the administrator level and installed security software so she would not be able to access or download adult content without their consent. She complained: “It’s my computer!” They parried: “It’s our internet!”
Their two boys, aged 14 and 12, were into different things: one, sport; the other, stock car racing on YouTube. Soon competition over the shared computer became a major issue.
“Can I use your computer to check homework on the internet?” her elder son asked Anita one evening. She agreed.
“I forgot something very important. There were no parental controls on my machine. I had purposely taken them off so it would work faster,” said Anita.
It became a habit for her son to use her computer, first for his homework, and then after a while for checking his Facebook account. At Christmas time, as Anita looked at the list of XXX sites on the history, she realised that wasn’t all he had been accessing.
That night, she and her husband confronted their son and he admitted he’d been looking at porn for months.
“I just went with a gut reaction, and said to him: ‘Would you like to see me doing those kind of things, or your sister? They are real people.’ I was very cross and upset. I heard that you shouldn’t get emotional. I’m afraid I did.”
There is an infinity of porn on the internet, and more and more children are viewing it.
A Unicef online survey of 509 young people showed that more than half (54 percent) had watched porn on the internet, with a significant percentage (36 percent) believing that what they saw was “accurate and/or educational”.
Most people will admit that at some stage in their life they have looked at porn. Is it really harmful or just a natural stage in growing up?
Dr Martin O’Sullivan specialises in adolescent psychiatry. He says viewing pornography is a hidden issue.
“While adolescent males were always exposed to porn, there is a different order of exposure now and we don’t know what impact that will have in the long run.”
O’Sullivan says pornography is “highly addictive” and through it, he fears, many men will retreat into a “virtual world”.
“Far from helping them to form relationships, excessive porn use is likely to deaden the impulse to form meaningful relationships which require patience, consideration and growth.”
Professor of psychiatry Patricia Casey says the danger of looking at porn is that it can initiate teenagers into early sexual behaviour. “It also gives them a distorted image of women as sexual objects.”
While the area of sex addiction is “controversial and unclear”, for children who do not have other “healthy outlets” the lure of porn can be “compelling”. It can also be an indicator of early sexualisation and abuse.
When it comes to the internet, parents must be vigilant. It is part of their parental responsibility, says Stephen Cardy from Focus on the Family, a Christian marriage and parenting service.
“We have good reason to protect our children from getting into danger. When they are adults and want to have children of their own, we don’t want them to have regrets and reasons why they can’t connect and have proper relationships.” – Irish IndependentWhat to do:
l Have a united approach as parents. Lead by example.
l Have a calm chat at a later stage (not in the heat of the moment).
l Explain that it is normal to be curious about sex.
l Identify women as people rather than sexual objects.
l Explore links between porn and criminal activity.
l Explain sexuality in the context of a loving relationship.
l Explain the damage that viewing pornography can cause.
l Establish firm boundaries in relation to internet use.
l Be ready to experience and face up to periods of conflict.
l Urge them to develop other healthy hobbies.
Hungry for more scitech news? Sign up for our daily newsletter
|
|
Anonymous, wrote
lol, wrote
rather that than catching vd from some prostitute..rather in the bedroom than is some car in a back street , much safer..
Jovial, wrote
Shame mothers lose in cases like these. A little test for parents:Watch how the father reacts when the mother tells the father that "i came home early and found Jonathan with a girl in his room" the father would show no interest while pulling a 'thumps up' move on in discreet cause it atleast confirms that his son is not gay. Then the mothet will get crossed at he husband for not taking action
Nick, wrote
Christian marriage and parental service a big NO .Sex is driven by genes we have to know them to understand how to deal with a situation .
Nick, wrote
I think children visualize about these things anyway, but they will see things that they had not thought off before and its normal for them to be curious , anything done in excessive is bad. 1.united approach good 2.calm chat good 3.normal to be curious good 4.porn and crime bad 5.sexuality in context good 6.damage viewing bad 7.firm boundaries good 8.be ready good 9.healthy hobbies good 10. sexual objects bad
Anonymous, wrote
Perfectly normal - and healthy - for a teenager to be interested in porn. By overeacting in such a way, the parents may have scarred him emotionally for life.
peter, wrote
Anonymous, wrote
"with a significant percentage (36 percent) believing that what they saw was “accurate andor educational”." Do they mean that it's not?
Martin, wrote
Ah, lets see, theyre old enough to watch Jurassic Park, but to watch 2 people making LOVE !! Oh no, disgusting !
Andrew, wrote
Some further comments... this time with some hard facts. I refer to the line in the above article that says “I explore links between porn and criminal activity” Lets explore this for a second... Milton Diamond (university of hawaii) published a paper in the international journal of law and psychiatry in 2009. To summarize documented research findings: The number of rapes per capita in the US decreased by 85% since 1970 when porn started to become more available, and occurred while other violent offences increased. In another study, (Amato, 2006), it was found that in the 5 states that had the lowest level of internet access, there had been a 53% increase in rape and sexual offences between 1980 and 2000, as compared to the 5 states that had the highest levels of internet penetration which saw a decrease of 27% in sexual crime during the same period... I could continue to cite such studies for weeks, and I challenge the author or anyone who wishes to, to find and show me a single proper academic study conduced by researches at a reputable institution that show ANY concrete links between porn and an increase in criminal activity...
Andrew, wrote
I read this article a week or two ago actually in the Star (verge section), and my reaction to it then remains my reaction to it now... first a reaction of absolute mirth, at the complete naivety of the author, and secondly, the thought struck me that these days parents have it all wrong. Let's start with the first part of that however, teenage boys look at porn, and if parents don't think their boys are looking at porn, there is a bigger problem than the porn, and that is that the parents are totally out of touch with reality.
lifelove, wrote
Ian, wrote
Dr Greenblood, wrote
"There were no parental controls on my machine. I had purposely taken them off so it would work faster" HAHAHAHAHAHA... yeah right, pull the other one Wake up people. Guys watch porn. Some guys lie about it, but all guys do it. Get over it.
Anonymous, wrote
Look at our recently launched platform www.netparent.co.za, that would prevent cases like this.
Henry S, wrote
Dont be such a "prune"....Im sure he can tell you everything you need to know!!!!!............boys will be boys...............
Anonymous, wrote
Was the sound turned off while you were sleeping? Was he curious? Was he excited? What is the postives that he can take out of this experience. Did he stutter, re-d!ck-ulously when you examined his mind. Did he come forthrighly or did he held back for some time. Did he look to you for guidance? Did he blame the unbuttoned Laptop? The apple never falls from another tree.
craig, wrote
OMW!! How shocking! Get a bloody life, leave the boy alone, it’s a normal phase of life, people have been either watching or drawing porn since the dawn of time. His curious and that’s normal, so the next time you condemn him for something that’s harmless then you better start wearing a chastity belt, you know, so you won’t be a hypocrite and all.
Karen, wrote
Who says it's not your husband???? Bet he does his fair share of a little naughty as well!
Anonymous, wrote
@ MR_B...thats true. Porn turns you into a feeble minded, weak willed w*anker with a bloodless face sporting hairy palms. We all know this is caused by the proverbial five knucke shuffle, and when your tank is empty you become invisible to women and men don't respect you.
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Buying a car has never been easy. Motoring.co.za contains a large database of car listings with a user friendly search.
Start searching today »
You are here: IOL / SciTech / Technology / Internet / I caught my teen watching porn
We like to make your life easier
Mobile
Browse IOL on your phone at m.iol.co.za.
Newsletters
Subscribe to our newsletters. News delivered to your inbox!
Comment Guidelines