Almost four years ago, in a square in Wellington, New Zealand, during the Rugby World Cup there in 2011, a South African cultural fair was staged.
Much of the culture seemed to focus on food and a taste of exotic South African cuisine. There was biltong - there always is biltong - and koeksisters, and someone had a South African burger, which looked like a normal burger except that it had Mrs Balls Chutney on it, which is a bit like scratching “Land Rover” on a Nissan Leaf and claiming it as a 4x4.
Other culinary delights included Cheese Curls, Nik Naks and South African beer. Some of the ex-pats got tucked into the scoff, others weren’t so keen. New Zealand can do crappy food as well as the rest of the world, and fast food is always best when it’s local crappy fast food. The best of South African fast food, Nando’s, our largest contribution to the world of grub, was nowhere to be seen. Around the world, countries have adopted Nando’s as their own. Never let them forget that the Portuguese chicken first came from South Africa, people.
There were South African dancers and musicians, all keen to show off some local culture to encourage tourism. Very few people travel the world for song and dance. The best way to encourage tourism to South Africa would be to put up a price list of the cost of a steak, a round of drinks and a full Nando’s chicken and chips, and compare it to local prices.
The first thing visitors to this fair land say after “Your country is beautiful,” is “I could have got a packet of crisps and half a pint for the price of this meal for four”. Never underestimate the depth of the wallet, tourist encouragers.
Sometime after lunch, there was a speech by the minister of sport and recreation. He managed to tear some away from their Cheese Curls to watch. He got the biggest cheer when he entreated the Springboks to “moer hulle” (Hulle being the Wallabies) when they played them in the quarter-final.
Unfortunately, Bryce Lawrence played his part in giving Australia some leeway to moer the Springboks at the Cake Tin and a few days later, many South Africans were on their way home to watch the World Cup semi-final and final on TV.
It was not the first time Fikile Mbalula had told the Springboks to “moer hulle”. He’d done so shortly before the team left for New Zealand.
This week, at the overblown farewell to the Proteas before they headed off to New Zealand for the World Cup, the sports minister told the nation’s cricket team to “bliksem” and “moer hulle”.
Reach for the biltong, ready the cheese curls and open the beer - we’re sending Australia and New Zealand some tough love culture.
The Star