Shaun Abrahams, the prosecutor who spent a lot of time defending himself, might want to have a word with his family, friends and colleagues if, as he intimated this week, he only discovered his eyebrows were a source of amusement thanks to the work of a cartoonist.
No-one should have two moustaches above the eyes. Abrahams has the hanging eyebrows of Babylon.
If he were to take a polygraph test, they would not attach electrodes to his arms, but measure the movement of those brows as they wiggled, wriggled and giggled.
If Abrahams had to meet Austin Powers, the international man of mystery would have a “Moley-moley-moley-moley-moley!” moment. As well as the cartoonist, Abrahams also had a dip at a journalist who had written about him this Sunday past.
He asked if the journalist was at his brow-beating briefing. Said journalist was not.
The brows shot up. Then down. They put their left foot in, their left foot out and they shook all about.
Then Abrahams did the hokey-pokey and the NPA turned around.Some in the brow-beating giggled when Abrahams called out the journalist. It has become an all-too regular thing to hear some hacks laugh during press conferences when their colleagues are targeted. It’s a nervous giggle, a “thank the caterpillar it is not me” cowering in front of the bully.
Those are the hacks who laugh every time the sports minister talks, when he blames an undisclosed enemy - with the implication that they are using the media as a front - for, say, continuing to be traitorous to their own country by asking the same questions about that $10 million.
I remembered hearing those giggles when being called out by a coach many years ago. He didn’t like something I had written while on assignment in Australia, and told a packed presser that I knew nothing about rugby.
He then cancelled the rest of the media obligations for the rest of the week, ostensibly because of me. Some giggles turned to anger at me. Some people can’t write about sport without quotes.The next day the coach relented and invited the media back for a briefing. I am proud to say some of my colleagues opted not to go in solidarity with how I had been treated.
I, perhaps, shouldn’t be proud to say that we decided to go to an establishment called Showgirls. They had a lunchtime special on beer and burgers. They also had silver poles and tired dancing. We were there for the beer.
Drinking is not cheap in Australia. The coach later asked one of our boycotting number where we had been. He shook his head when he found out. The point had been made.
Rule No 1: Don’t be a chop . Rule No 2: Don’t be a chop to the media. Rule No 3: Don’t be a chop if you have nuclear-mutant eyebrows.
The Star