There is an account on Twitter that posts, at regular intervals, usually around 10 minutes or so, lines from the works of William Shakespeare.
Willy Shakes (giggle), or, officially, @IAM_SHAKESPEARE is on round three of posting the “complete works of William Shakespeare line by all 112 000+ lines”.
Their rationale, unless they are making money from their sponsor, is through the magic of repetition, to get some of their 49 000 followers to be able to reel off lines from the bard. I wish I could. I don’t learn the things I should know. I remember nonsense. I use Willy Shakes in retweets with my own snarky comments added.
Take some clever bits and make them your own. It makes you look clever.Willy Shakes would have died 400 years ago last week. Apparently. It’s a good thing they have a death certificate because they don’t have a birth certificate, according to biography.com. Though no birth records exist, church records indicate that a William Shakespeare was baptised at Holy Trinity Church in Stratford-upon-Avon on April 26, 1564.
From this, it is believed he was born on or near April 23, 1564, and this is the date scholars acknowledge as William Shakespeare’s birthday. He died on April 23. The oke was all about timing.He wrote of sport, did Willy Shakes (yes, I still can’t get over that childish giggle). “If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as work,” he wrote in King Henry IV.
So, he wasn’t talking about sport as we know it, but there is much in his words. Sport should be fun and not work, unless you get paid to play or coach or administer or write about it, then it is a job. Sometimes. Not really. It’s not a real job. It’s rock ‘n roll. Sometimes it comes with drugs and sex.
But not if you are writing about it.Anton Oliver, the former All Black and one of the more academic of those of the professional era (how awful it sounds to write that), once intimated at a post-match presser at Ellis Park that South African rugby needed to use the “top two inches” a little more, and pointed to his forehead.
He has a strong forehead, to be polite, but it houses a brain that has studied at both Oxford and Cambridge. I can’t remember him firing out any insults, but if he had, perhaps he would have swung to Willy Shakes (insert Benny Hill joke here), who could write a put-down like few could. And he could be crude.So, thanks to the Telegraph of London, here are a few Willy Shakes cracks for you to aim at your mates. “Villain, I have done thy mother”.
Yup, Willy Shakes told mum jokes, a tradition carried on through sport for all time. “Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish!” I have no words for this. It has everything to slag and confuse.Others to use: “Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon.” For football players.”Away, you three-inch fool!”
For forwards fighting with scrumhalfs.”I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.” For all forwards.
No beauty from The Beast
Having interviewed The Beast down the years, I came to the conclusion he was a guarded man, given to speaking in cliché. Not, it seems, when he is captain of the Sharks. After the Sharks had received their second yellow card of their match against the Highlanders, given to JP Pietersen for foul play at a ruck, the Beast walked up to the ref and gave him a gobful.
He suggested, in a growly whine, that the ref was just upping the yellow cards to even out the red card he had given against the Highlanders earlier in the match. “But you gave them a penalty,” he fumed. “It’s not fair. It’s not fair.” Well, it was, actually. The Beast might want to tone down a tad.
Telling a ref he was essentially a cheat is not a good move.
This is why rugby is the beautiful game...
The red card for the Highlanders’ Jason Emery for his tackle on Willie Le Roux was justified, but his contrition for the hit showed the mark of the man. He sent a tweet to Le Roux: “@wjjleroux, again, just want 2 Apologise for what happened 2night.
I’m Just thankful u came out of that collision ok & continued 2 play on.” Le Roux, who could have been seriously injured after landing on his neck, replied: “@JasonEmery13 bro all part of the game we love all the best to you and the team for the rest of the tournament.”
The Star