The statement “If I knew then what I know now, I would have done things differently” rings true concerning your wedding day, and about marriage.

There are so many little things no one tells you…

Yes, things will go wrong, but you’ll laugh about them later: some of your wedding photos will surprise, shock or confuse you; the day after can sometimes be horrible. But your wedding day should be deliriously happy.

Not everyone has your best interests at heart on your wedding day. Some are jealous of the fact that you and your special one are tying the knot, and will stop at nothing in ensuring that they ruin your most memorable day.

It’s hard to imagine exactly what your wedding day will be like until it happens to you.

Which is probably why some people say the horrible things they do, because they’ve forgotten or haven’t experienced what it’s like to get married.

But it’s also why it’s such a magical experience.

A couple’s wedding day is the uniting of two souls, two families, legally, culturally and spiritually… it is even more momentous than the proposal.

In saying that, we should, however, note that not everyone is cut out for marriage, or needs to get married legally, but I wish everyone could experience the joy and the journey of having a wedding.

I’m sure that those who have walked down the aisle will agree that it’s not something anyone would trade easily.

So, is a wedding the same thing as a marriage? Sometimes people use the words “wedding” and “marriage” interchangeably.

But where a wedding typically lasts only a day, a marriage – where two souls meet with the same purpose – should last a lifetime.

A wedding also has many other components aside from the marriage ceremony, including the bridal shower, the reception and a host of other parties, depending on your culture.

When thinking about the difference between a wedding and a marriage, consider the following: a wedding ceremony and associated events join two people in marriage; two families are bound together in marriage; marriage is a legal contract between two people, registered with the government.

This has had particular significance in the battle for legal recognition for gay marriage.

Religious people against gay marriages fear that they will have to celebrate gay weddings in their churches and houses of worship, or seem to think that the legal recognition for gay people will change the meaning of their own religious wedding ceremonies or beliefs.

On the other hand, gay people sometimes “devalue” the worth of having a wedding, especially if their marriage can’t have legal standing.

I beg to differ: legal recognition by the government grants you many rights and benefits, but it is not the same as having a wedding! Only you can decide when your wedding has real meaning and significance.

Surely the love you express on that day, the vows you exchange and the relatives and friends who share that special occasion with you are worth something?

After all, there are weddings that have taken place only to be annulled 24 hours later, or “business transaction” weddings where people get married for legal reasons such as immigration, citizenship and so on. To say that a legal marriage is the ultimate goal devalues the real institution of marriage.

Make sure that when you exchange vows and take the decision to be married, it’s for the right reasons.

Thank you to all our wonderful readers for your participation in the Win-a-Wedding SMS competition. Your votes count and our judges now have the tough decision of making the final cut.

We wish all our entrants the best of luck and we look forward to announcing the winners on Thursday, September 22.

Keep reading, because this is not the end: we will be covering the weekly bridal diaries of the winning couples as they prepare for their special day, while giving you tips, advice and interesting titbits…

Till next week!

Sophla

Contact The Star Wedding Page by e-mailing us at sophla.star@inl.co.za or call 011 633 2541.