A smashing wedding

Published Feb 11, 2016

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Bride-to-be Nareshnee ‘Nesh’ Pillay was having her hair done in a New York hair salon shortly before what was to have been her “secret” wedding when the world outside appeared to fall apart.

A 172-metre crane collapsed on the road, killing one person, injuring several others and leaving a trial of destruction.

But sticking to the tradition of not speaking to the groom before tying the knot, the former Durban resident chose not to call her American fiancé.

She and others, including her sister Kuvanya and mother Vernie, were stuck in the salon for two hours before being told to leave because of a gas leak.

Then the 25-year-old journalist- turned-public relations expert, resplendent in her white wedding gown, stepped on to the street littered with debris and dashed towards the wedding venue, the city clerk’s office.

On her way, Pillay met New York fire department chaplain, Ann Kansfield, who put her jacket over her shoulders.

Pillay, who now lives in Toronto, Canada, said Kansfield assured her she would get married that day as she would perform the ceremony herself.

Speaking to POST this week, Pillay, formerly of Queensburgh, said she was at the Drybar Tribeca salon on Friday morning, shortly before she was to have wed 27-year-old Aaron Vanderhoff, a hepatitis case manager at Bellevue Hospital in New York.

“I was set to meet Aaron, our families and our photographer at 10am on the steps of the Tweed Courthouse (architecturally, one of New York’s greatest civic monuments). But when the crane collapsed, no one was allowed to leave the salon for about two hours.

“Nobody at the salon was injured but we heard whispers that people had been injured and killed.

“I didn’t know where my father, Dayalan, and (other) sister, Merishka, were… I was slightly worried but they quickly texted me to let me know they were all right. I chose not to call my fiancé to stick to the tradition of not speaking to the groom before the wedding. But I did text his stepmom and our photographer.

Pillay said they were forced to leave the salon after a gas leak was discovered. “We were in the hair salon for so long that I ended up changing into my gown in the bathroom. It was lucky I had it with me. My family was already dressed.”

As she walked, she met Kansfield, Fire Department New York’s first female and openly gay chaplain. “She was the one who helped me get from the crane collapse to Tweed Courthouse,” said Pillay, who was an hour late for the wedding. She said she and her fiancé embraced before tying the knot in a civil ceremony.

Pillay and her parents emigrated to Canada in 2001. “They wanted to give my sisters and me personal and professional opportunities not necessarily available to us in South Africa.”

Pillay had later lived in New York for about a decade, where she met Vanderhoff at Binghamton University.

“He asked me to marry him on December 27, 2014. He asked me in my parents’ kitchen with a gorgeous 2-carat rose gold ring he had personally designed with a New York jeweller. Even though he kept it low-key, I was very surprised, which isn’t an easy thing to do.”

She said she returned to Canada last year to do crisis public relations for Ashley Madison, an online dating service.

“We planned on getting married in New York because this is where we met and lived for many years.”

Pillay was to have returned to Canada on Wednesday, with Vanderhoff joining her later.

The newlyweds are planing their honeymoon on a private island in the Maldives “where there is no press and more importantly, no cranes”.

Pillay, who runs her own public relations company, Press Pillay, said she was in South Africa from May to August last year working for the Mail and Guardian.

“During that trip and another in October, I directed a short documentary on domestic workers in post-apartheid South Africa, Umzabalazo.”

Asked if any of her family from South Africa were at the wedding, she said: “No. The wedding was supposed to be a secret. We were going to announce it on social media afterwards – but the media beat us to it.”

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