AP
Singer Paul Rodgers, and Brian May, from left, of British band Queen perform on stage during their "The cosmos rocks"- tour in Berlin, Germany, on Sunday, Sept. 21. 2008. (AP Photo/Miguel Villagran)
The death of Freddie Mercury brought his close friend Queen guitarist Brian May to the brink of suicide. Seriously depressed by worries about his own future, exhausted after years of touring, and unable to come to terms with the loss of Freddie, he found himself facing a complete mental and physical breakdown.
In desperation, he booked himself into a clinic in Arizona, which he describes as a cross between a university, a health farm and a mental asylum.
“I regarded myself as completely sick”, he revealed to me. “I was wounded and very much in pieces. I went into a serious depression. I was subsumed by feelings of loss.
“Being in a touring band puts your friends and family on hold and you’re focused on one thing - the band. When that finishes, you’Õre out on a limb. The band finished, so there was a terrible feeling of loss - the band was my family. We lost Freddie and my Dad died at almost the same time. I didnÕt want to live. IÕd lost myself completely. I coasted along and got by somehow, but I couldnÕt get myself into gear. So I had to go into this place where I was isolated and removed from my life. Gradually, the suicidal feelings went away.”
The clinic, he says, helped him unravel his emotional problems. “I talked about my feelings and it worked fabulously. The problem had been me. Once I started to fix me, life started to work again.”
Freddie had confided to Brian and other members of his inner circle his HIV diagnosis. “We lied through our teeth to protect his privacy”, says May.
“Maybe I was in denial myself. We were all hoping a cure would be found. But we agreed we’d make life as comfortable and as private for Freddie as we could”. - Daily Mail
) and select "Flag as inappropriate". Our moderators will take action if need be.
Louise, wrote
Brian, thank you for your deep sincerity. I like so many others have grieved deeply at the loss of Freddie. But I do believe that Freddie would simply tell us to "Get On With It" and we'll see him someday when we move to his neighborhood. I've read all the bio's & expecting Peter Hince's account 'round Thanksgiving. Each night his voice is with me as I sleep. Yes I do listen & watch Freddie in my waking hours.
Sara, wrote
Your story moved me almost to tears, Bri Bri. You are one of the best human beings out there - not just in rock& roll, but the world as well.
Kati Stewart, wrote
Hi I have also been tremendously affected by Freddies death and although it was some years ago I still grieve for a fantastic singer and bandsperson. I actually have the DVD of Queen and Paul Rodgers and I love it dearly but it just isn't the same as hearing Freddie singing the same songs. But life goes on and we have to get over all the disappointments that life throws at us as at the moment I am suffering from a chronic form of what is termed as psoriatic arthritis but I am still able to listen to all the great music that comes through youtube. Thank you Brian May for your contribution to what I consider the greatest group in the world.
Showing items 1 - 3 of 3