Joan Rivers wanted a Hollywood funeral

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Copy of Obit Joan Rivers~1 AP/Dan Steinberg Joan Rivers greets the audience at the 'Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers' in 2009 in Los Angeles.

Johannesburg - The late Joan Rivers’ funeral has been scheduled for September 7 at Temple Emanu-El in Manhattan. What format the ceremony will take is anyone’s guess, but the outspoken Rivers certainly had her own ideas.

In her 2012 book “I Hate Everyone ... Starting with Me” she described in detail the kind of funeral she would like.

“When I die... I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action... I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene. I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing “Mr Lonely”. I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in my casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé’s .”

She was also, it appears, a woman who enjoyed a good death reel at the Oscars.

“A good death reel can almost compensate for five hours of French actors trying to make adorable acceptance speeches. One of my favorite things to do is guess which of the dead actors will get the most applause and who's going to be surprisingly underappreciated. It's tricky you can't always tell. Some years the most applause go to whoever died young and tragically; other years it goes to the old and beloved. I really love it when the Academy leaves a deadie out of the reel and the error of omission becomes a huge cause célèbre. Remember a few years ago when they left Bea Arthur out of the death reel [at the Oscars]? Bea Arthur! How did they leave Bea Arthur out? She was in “Mame;” she was in “All in the Family;” she was in “Maude;” she was a “Golden Girl,” for God’s sake! Bea was not only one of Hollywood’s leading ladies, she was one of Hollywood’s leading men! There are still people talking about that horrible gaffe and to this day, in Beverly Hills, when the subject comes up, people say Bea Arthur's name in a muffled whisper like they used to do when they said ‘cancer’.”

No doubt, the spirit of Joan Rivers will be watching the Oscars next year with some interest. - Tonight Reporter

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