ACCIDENTAL LOVE
DIRECTOR: Stephen Greene
CAST: Jessica Biel, Jake Gyllenhaal, Catherine Keener, Tracy Morgan and James Marsden
CLASSIFICATION: PG10-12 LS
RUNNING TIME: 100 minutes
RATING: *
I AM dumbfounded to learn that David O’Russell (Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle and Three Kings), is the mastermind behind the utter codswallop that is Accidental Love.
Talk about Flirting with Disaster (pun intended). With a plot so asinine, there should be an exorcism performed on all who watch it. Of course, that certainly explains why he chose to use a pseudonym. Worst kept secret, by the way!
The story centres on small-town waitress Alice Eckle (Biel), who has everything going for her and is about to get engaged to the hottest guy – Scott (Marsden). However, his romantic proposal hits a snag when, while at a fancy restaurant, a workman slips and Alice ends up with a nail in her head.
With her not having health insurance, she couldn’t get the surgery needed to remove it.
And so life changes with Scott, who loves solving problems through ratios, breaking off their engagement given Alice’s new proneness to mood swings, speaking in Portuguese and nymphomaniac behaviour.
Then a TV commercial featuring congressman Howard Birdwell inspires a naïve Alice and her two sidekicks – Reverend Norm, who is suffering from priapism, and Keyshawn (he has a rectal prolapse) – to seek out his help.
Of course, she ends up becoming a political pawn while trying to get congress to pass a health care bill that could help other people like her and her friends.
Before delving into why this movie fails so spectacularly, let’s look at its history. Context is important.
Initially titled Nailed, shooting started in 2008. But it was fraught with financial difficulties. This led to Russell’s renunciation of the film – not that it worked.
There are many things wide of the mark with Accidental Love; it’s clumsy, outlandish and foolish. The romance aspect is equally laughable. After Alice and Howard’s spontaneous shag, viewers are supposed to accept that they are now in love.
Fluidity in storytelling is as vital as its credibility. That’s why movies like The Notebook, The Best of Me and Love, Rosie have left such indelible impressions on moviegoers. Fiction doesn’t have to be genius, it just has to be believable.
In an era when we yearn for our reality to be suspended to enjoy the sheer escapism of a movie, this drivel is unacceptable. Stellar cast or not! And I’m pretty sure Morgan isn’t laughing now, either.
If you liked… honestly, anything is better than this, even Tammy. Spare yourself!