MINIONS
DIRECTOR: Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda
VOICE CAST: Pierre Coffin, Sandra Bullock, Jon Hamm, Steve Coogan
CLASSIFICATION: PG
RUNNING TIME: 91 minutes
RATING: ***
Hollywood is all about milking that cow until its teats are shrivelled and dry – particularly when there’s mucho money to be made through merchandising. And from the moment the little fellows first made their despicable debut some five years ago, studios, producers, theme park owners and retailers have been hearing the sweet sound of “ka-ching!” as they cashed in on all things Minions-related.
Not surprisingly, a second movie swiftly followed, but where the yellow pill-like critters were more of a side thought in the first offering, the sequel saw them adopt a starring role.
The storyline was already somewhat of a rehash of D.M.1 (super villains – check; three lovable and precocious little girls – check; Gru embracing and simultaneously battling his urge to be baaad – check). But gosh darn it, those kooky Minions were just so doggone cute, we forgave this trivial detail.
Nevertheless, those with their hands firmly entrenched in the coffers decided that we needed even more Minion madness – plausible plot be damned. And so, Minions the movie was born.
Posited as a prequel, Minions (a highly imaginative title) takes us back to the beginning of time, detailing the evolution of the banana-coloured creatures from the moment they were single-celled organisms, to the period where they roamed the Jurassic Age planes desperate to serve their dinosaur overlord, and their subsequent progression through the ages, as evil master after evil master (including Dracula and Napoleon Bonaparte) succumbs to the grim reaper.
Since the sole reason for the Minions’ existence is to serve someone truly wretched (no explanation ever offered as to why – but hey, this is fantasy fare we’re dealing with), their lack of a loathsome leader sends them into a deep depression.
But fortunately for this rudderless bunch – who, incidentally, seem to have found the elixir of life, given that they themselves never die – they have clever Kevin in their midst: Minion saviour extraordinaire.
He, along with a ragtag crew of teenage rebel Stuart and the diminutive yet delightful Bob, set off in search of a new evil boss for their brotherhood. Their adventure takes them across the US, picking up their trade-mark jean overalls look along the way, before finally steering them to a super villain conference (in Florida of all places), where they happen upon Scarlet Overkill (Bullock), the world’s first female super villain.
Fast-forward through a series of jumbled vignettes entailing the trio having to prove their worth to Lady Overkill to a backdrop of ’50s and ’60s references (most of which will likely be missed by the 8-to-12 target market), failing miserably, and finding themselves in an altogether different position within the power grid, before they happen upon the boy-child (Gru) who will grow to become their longstanding commander. Then – badum tish – role end credits.
And that’s it. They’re done. (Before those spoiler fingers start wagging, I did say this film was a prequel, so the outcome is pretty much a given.)
So why the three-star rating? Well, because while parents will likely be the ones forking out the money for the movie tickets – and probably have to endure what, to an adult audience, are mostly ho-hum comedic elements while watching it with their children – their kids will absolutely love it! And isn’t that, after all, ultimately the aim?
If you – or your youngsters – liked Home or the animated film Inside Out, they will enjoy this offering.
It’s destination luxury for a mellow yellow getaway
The “children of the ’80s” among us will well remember the heyday of Sun City. That magical place where Joburgers escaped to virtually every weekend during the summer season, with its pristine green lawns, colourful cabanas, crystal-blue pools complete with in-water bars; where the mamas and the papas could indulge in delicious cocktails while the kiddies soaked up the sun ahead of the evening’s spectacular extravaganza show, before heading for home in the early hours of the morning, with the distinct glow of a great time radiating from their tanned faces.
Those who experienced Sol Kerzner’s dream destination at the height of its reign will understand why returning to this City of the Sun some 20 years later, can leave you feeling as though you’re walking through the haunted halls of a kingdom that’s long since ceased to exist.
But just slightly away from what comprises the original structure, sits The Sun Vacation Club.
A timeshare facility made up of immaculate, modernised two- and three-bedroom, fully equipped self-catering units, The Vacation Club offers a throwback to the era of classic, clean family fun. Especially when said fun involves being in the company of smile- inducing Minions, who “took over” Sun City during our two-day stay.
With every amenity you could hope to find in your own home – and then some! – including a Jetmaster braai, dishwasher, microwave, LED TVs featuring DStv channels, wi-fi, a DVD player and air-conditioning in every room, you’re guaranteed a good holiday in the lap of luxury (even if you have to cook for yourself).
For those disinclined to bring out the braai tongs or don that kitchen apron, The Vacation Club also offers a selection of restaurants on the premises, catering for all tastes ranging from good ol’ pizza for the young ’uns and traditional African cuisine, to more sophisticated bistro-style fare.
During the day, your only obligation is to enjoy the variety of family activities on offer, lounge poolside or, if you’re so inclined, head out into the Pilansberg Nature Reserve, situated virtually on the Vacation Club’s doorstep.
And the best bit is, whether you’re looking for a weekend breather from the hustle and bustle of city life, or hoping to unwind over a more prolonged period without having to contend with the thought of spending hours in a car or on an aeroplane to do so, Sun City’s Vacation Club is a quick 90-minute drive away!
l For further information on Sun City’s Vacation Club, check out www.suninternational.com/ sunvacationclub.
WIN! WIN! WIN!
To celebrate the nationwide release of Minions, Tonight is offering five lucky readers the chance to win a prize featuring these adorable creatures. One lucky reader will walk off with the main prize, which is an exclusive Minions suitcase. There are also four consolation hampers up for grabs. Each hamper consists of a Minions Stuart bag, a Minions keychain and the Despicable Me 2 DVD.
To stand a chance of winning, all you have to do is send your name and contact details to [email protected]. Please put Tonight Minions Competition in the subject bar. The competition closes on Wednesday, July 15, at midnight. Only the winners will be contacted.