There are times when having a job dedicated to the realm of entertainment leaves me wondering just how mankind degenerated into an existence of such vacuous proportions. This is one of those occasions.
While the immediate world around us is peppered with stories of human tragedy and suffering that should form the focus of our attention (in a resolution-seeking, rather than a “slit my wrists” capacity), it’s headlines like these that grab the most market interest:
“Did Taylor Swift lose her virginity to Jake Gyllenhaal?”
If that weren’t sufficiently abhorrent, we’re then treated to a daily play-by-play account of their relationship. Which lasted all of three months. And ended back in 2011. But apparently, this is still the stuff of breaking news. As is the crucial, civilisation-changing question of whether he popped her cherry.
Not to be outdone in the “remaining the centre of attention” stakes, this was also the week Rihanna revealed she has a fear of underwear. Yes, you read right: underwear.
So severe is Riri’s condition, she’s reportedly seeking therapy “to overcome her feeling of entrapment when wearing bras and panties”.
This, we’re told, explains her penchant for barely-there fashion, particularly in terms of what’s come to be known as her signature look of a bra-less plunging neckline. That opting for such a style allows her to show off the Egyptian goddess tattoo she had inked under her breasts late last year is mere coincidence, of course.
As is the fact that her phobia of being “entrapped” miraculously disappears when parading around beaches and boats in G-string bikinis, in full view of the paparazzi.
Guess Armani won’t be using her for any more lingerie ad campaigns then.
Potential customers might start to think it is the branded line of lacy bits that instilled the fear in her in the first place!
Meanwhile, poor Ellen Page (star of cult hit Juno) was completely overshadowed by the stupidity of her entertainment peers, when she chose this juncture to come out of the closet (even if some might say her stereotypical boyish mannerisms and masculine fashion sense were already a clear indication to all with eyes to see).
And though a person’s sexual orientation should be of little consequence in this (supposedly) tolerant day and age, at least the Oscar-nominated 27-year-old offered some wise words on other troubling aspects of the state of our, and showbiz, society:
“It’s weird, because here I am, an actress, representing… an industry that places crushing standards on us all. Not just young people, but everyone. Standards of beauty. Of a good life. Of success. Standards that, I hate to admit, have affected me.
“You have ideas planted in your head, thoughts you never had before, that tell you how to act, how to dress and who you have to be. I have been trying to push back, but it can be hard…”
Well, Ellen, in the hopes of saving my sanity – and saving our gormless culture from itself – we can only hope you, and others like you, keep pushin’ on.
LARA DE MATOS
TONIGHT EDITOR