TLC dries up when Honey turns sticky

Published Oct 31, 2014

Share

June Shannon is a bad mom. Gasp! Just why it should be deemed shocking that Mama June (as she’s known) will not be featured in a Mother of the Year contest anytime in the next millennium is, in a word, baffling.

This is, after all, the same woman who has had four children with four daddies – of which she is only able to “positively identify” three – and effectively peddled her (then still a toddler) youngest into the vulgarity of child pageantry.

The same woman who believes roadkill, or fare that’s headed for the dumpster, constitutes a decent meal, and has basically sought to glamorise her morbid obesity and that of her broad brood (pun intended) as “beautimous”.

Just in case there should be any doubt as to this class act’s sense of parental propriety, her pastimes include breaking wind and playing in mud pits. That is, of course, when she’s not dodging theft and contempt of court charges, or receiving unannounced visits from Family Services, on suspicion of child abuse. (Because what loving mommy doesn’t feed her toddler a Red Bull and fizzy drink concoction of Go Go Juice every morning, or think it’s “smexy” that her pre-schooler should be gyrating in a sexual manner, right?)

The scandal now surrounding the reigning queen of Hicksville, however, is not related to daughter Honey Boo Boo (real name Alana Thompson), but to her first born, Chickadee (aka Anna Cardwell).

Following her split from fourth sperm donor, Mike “Sugar Bear” Thompson (food-based nicknames are big in the Redneck woods, apparently), Mama June has reportedly been “vajiggle jaggling” with ex-flame, Mark McDaniel.

Well, okay, so who hasn’t considered revisiting the ol’ black book when they find themselves single, pushing 40 and fat? (Hey, Helen Fielding created a whole Bridget Jones cult based on this very premise.)

Problem is, Mark is also an ex-con who was locked up for 10 years on charges of child molestation. And among his victims was none other than Chickadee, who was all of 8eight years old at the time.

While June has vehemently denied the reports, paparazzi shots taken of her with her old-new beau reveal a very different reality. One which has led to TV channel, TLC cancelling Here Comes Honey Boo Boo (the perplexingly hugely successful spin-off of the equally profane Toddlers & Tiaras).

Certain sectors have hailed the network for its swift and decisive stand against Mama June’s alleged actions. But they gleefully overlook the more glaring question at hand: was TLC’s decision truly motivated by the moral high ground, or was it the potential fallout in terms of loss of viewers that actually fuelled their supposedly ethical stance?

This is, after all, the same channel that blithely raked in millions by exploiting children under the guise of “entertainment”, while simultaneously promoting materialism in the youngsters themselves (“a dollar makes me holla” was Honey Boo Boo’s catchphrase) and effectively advocating that parents use their offspring as a means to make money.

And while the cancellation of the show denotes the slaughtering of the Shannon family’s cash cow, TLC will carry on regardless – and possibly introduce a similar series in future that will again fill its coffers.

As Wilkinson County (the show’s location) Chamber of Commerce president, Jonathan Jackson said during a 2012 interview with the Associated Press:

“You can’t very well ask and expect a television network to possess tact and taste – unless it makes or saves them a dollar.”

LARA DE MATOS

TONIGHT EDITOR

[email protected]

@Lara_de_Matos

Related Topics: