Let’s torque about cars, baby. That sentence makes absolutely no sense, but ten points for you if you read that opening line to the tune of Salt-N-Pepa’s Let’s Talk About Sex. Collect your prize at the end of the article (not really).
So, what exactly are we talking about? Fast cars? High speed chases? Drivers who have no business being behind the wheel? You’ll get all of that, and then some, on Top TV’s MGM Channel this weekend.
From Friday until Sunday you can catch movies that include some iconic car imagery, even if the actual storyline is not centred around cars. Sorry, the DeLorean doesn’t make the cut for this weekend’s viewing pleasure.
First up is The Joshua Tree which airs on MGM on June 22. Not to be confused with the U2 album of the same name, this is an action film that has since been renamed Army Of One.
This early 90s flick stars Dolph Lundgren, aka the other buff guy whose surname isn’t Van Damme. It must be said, if you were a body-builder with blue eyes, light hair and a foreign accent, then you were almost guaranteed to get a job in an action flick.
Oh, and if Grace Jones herself believed in you enough to co-sign you, then your career was made. This is how Lundgren got to be the man. In The Joshua Tree, he stars as a former race-car driver who escapes from prison after he is framed for murder.
A high-speed cross-country chase ensues as he tries to make a run for it and get his revenge on the cop who put him behind bars.
Saturday night sees Safari 3000 on the small screen. This 1982 Harry Hurwitz film is set in the heart of Africa, hence the “Safari” in the title. Bear in mind that back in those days, Africa was considered a country.
Anyway, the film really is supposed to be set somewhere on this continent and features David Carradine in a plot that involves a reporter following a stunt race driver as he drives 3000km across Africa.
The Speed Freaks Marathon reaches the finish line with It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad World on Sunday night. An ensemble cast that includes Milton Berle, Sid Caesar and Jimmy Durante star in this comedy about a group of eccentric characters who are all in hot pursuit of $350 000 in stolen cash.
The strangers are all vacation-ing motorists and they are willing to do anything – even drive each other up the wall – in order to get their hands on the moola. It was 1963, so $350 000, chump change to a sports minister with an appreciation for American r&b singers, was a lot of money back then.
If you like cars and you like films, don’t miss these movies.
• All these movies will be aired on MGM (Top TV Channel 113) at 9pm from Friday to Sunday