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Mall cops: no gun, no bullet, no badge

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Copy of TO TopTVETCHe

Sometimes it’s easy to feel sorry for security guards. But not when they’re harassing the girls with multiple body piercings in clothing shops, or killing black boys in hoodies in gated communities in the US. Wait, that wasn’t a security cop, was it? And still no one’s in jail? Okay.

Point is, sometimes security guards just aren’t respected. Maybe it’s the fact that they aren’t provided with real guns with real bullets to help them enforce the law.

However, in Mall Cops: Mall of America – which airs on TopTV’s Investigation Discovery channel tonight – Tasers get to go where no gun has gone before. Well, not really, but the point is, these mall cops have some kind of protection for themselves and the shoppers around them.

The premise of the show is pretty simple. Think of Cops, just with less-scrawny men running from police and more kids who have been separated from their parents.

You may have thought the new Sandton City is a huge maze that’s easy to get lost in, but the setting of this reality show blows that kugel gathering spot right out of the water.

The Mall of America is the second-largest mall inside Uncle Sam’s borders. The Minnesota mall not only has 500 shops on the premises, but also has a theme park, an aquarium and, drum roll please, a school. In my best Liz Lemon voice: what the what? Yep, a school.

Now where will kids go if they want to bunk class? More than 100 staff are a part of the mall cops unit and they assist in cases that range from the expected – shoplifting and helping lost kids find their folks – to the bizarre,handling with care a drunk man who won’t leave the mall. Or when Sarah Palin visited the mall and there was not only a bounty hunter trying to get at her (I swear, I’m not making this up), but a bomb threat to the mall, too.

This week, the cops have to deal with a fight that seriously gets out of hand as well as the US Women’s Olympic Hockey Team attempting to hold an event to make an important announcement. Like the mall isn’t busy enough.

If you’re keen for a laugh, or really just wonder how there can even be a whole season focusing on security guards in a mall, then this is the show for you.

• Mall Cops: Mall of America airs on Investigation Discovery (TopTV channel 303) every Tuesday at 6.55pm.


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