Survivor: Wheel-less wagon veers off course

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TO S12 - Shane_CITY_E1 . Shane

Twenty days in, and the natives have clearly grown restless. Or simply started to suffer from a severe ase of island fever.

Either way, alliances are dissolving like soap bubbles in dishwater, good guys and gals are turning bad and the wheels, ladies and gentlemen, have started to fall off the wagon.

#DAVE-ISMS

“I just want to prove myself loyal, to go to the top four.”

Um… Um… Nah, too easy. Back to your bridge now, little troll.

TOOTSIE TALK

“I loved playing cricket as a kid. I was just never any good at it. I was always the kid on the boundary, picking at the grass.”

A sport that Superman Zavion has not been able to master?! Whatever is this world coming to?

FEATURED FLASHER

Whether it’s all those challenges, the constant need to chop, build and fish around camp, or simply the fact that they’re not getting much food these days, Vel and Buhle are looking good! (Which isn’t to say that starving yourself is a healthy way to lose weight. Responsible journalism and all that.)

With the amount of arm muscle they were flexing during the wet and rainy tribal council, I’d hate to come up against these gals in the middle of the night!

MEOW!

Okay Shane, we get it. You’re the resident bad boy.

The one who craftily pits people against each other and then stands back and watches with great amusement as they leap for each other’s throats. Hell, you’ve even convinced good-guy Graham to “flirt with the dark side”.

But is it really necessary to declare that you’re “totally and utterly embarrassed to be on Survivor with the quality of human beings I’m playing with now”?

You must be channelling your inner Marian…

KEEPING UP WITH KRIGE

Kudos to Krige for having realised “I’m not entirely convinced everyone’s telling the truth (about who they’re voting for)”. This is, after all, the same man who was initially shocked to discover the level of deceit (gasp!) required in a show of this nature.

Sadly, his valiant attempts still couldn’t save Solly.

FLY FISH

The game of Survivor requires such singular focus on who is, well, surviving, that we tend to overlook the player who is struggling to put any winning notch next to his (or her) name. In flies the Fish to remind us of one of the fundamental aspects of any worthy contender: “I respect the individual who’s a good loser as well.”

Aw shucks. And we respect you for saying as much, Mark. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

SPECIAL MENTION

She pained us with her sadistic ways when she was an active player in the series and just when we thought we were finally rid of Mad Marian, we’re now subjected to her not-so-subtle attempts at keeping the camera focused on herself (overact, much?), as the first member of the jury.

It’s one thing to “play hard” while you’re actually still in the game; deriving such blatant pleasure from the downfall of others speaks to your true personality.

• Survivor SA: Champions, Sunday on M-Net at 5.30pm.

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