Wisteria soon a memory laneComment on this story
Circa 2005, viewers were left in awe when they were introduced to the Desperate Housewives of Wisteria Lane. And for an hour they wholly surrendered and completely immersed themselves in the woes of Bree Van de Kamp (Marcia Cross), Susan Mayer (Teri Hatcher) now Delfino, Lynette Scavo (Felicity Huffman) and Gabrielle Solis (Eva Longoria) as they tried to maintain the picture-perfect family life behind the white picket fences on the lane.
While their friendships have seen them weather many storms, their latest secret, and the burden of keeping it, could very well be their greatest test.
And with the fractures in their respective family circles starting to surface, it looks as if desperate times are about to call for desperate measures…
BREE VAN DE KAMP
Relationship status: Bree is dating Chuck, who is a cop.
Her quirk: Let’s just say Martha Stewart has nothing on Bree – a compulsive cleaner and a competitive homebody. And she could cook her way into any man’s heart.
When we first met her: Bree’s marriage to Rex was on rocky ground. And while she was struggling to deal with that she was also raising two teenagers.
Her journey so far: After Rex died at the end of season one, Bree struggled to cope with being a widow and unwittingly dated the man responsible for killing her husband. Aside from being at odds with her son, Bree was also battling alcoholism.
In the third season, she married Orson, who had secrets of his own. And, to conceal her daughter’s pregnancy, Bree faked a pregnancy to raise the child as her own.
Season five saw Bree’s marriage to Orson become very strained, with him unable to deal with her devoting all her time to her very successful career as an author.
The next season centred on Bree’s comeuppance after her affair with Karl, which ended with his plane crashing with Orson and her aboard.
In the last series, Bree’s relationship with Carlos is cut short when he learns of her hand in the cover up of the murder of his mother, who was run over by Bree’s son. With her divorce from Orson finalised, she couldn’t keep her hands off her sexy handyman, Keith Watson.
What’s coming up? To make amends with Carlos and Gaby, Bree decided to bury Alejandro’s (Gaby’s stepfather) body and swore the others to secrecy. Fortunately for her, she is dating Chuck, the detective handling the case, to suss out how the case is coming along. Also, he is good in the sack. But someone is on to Bree and threatens to expose her.
Relationship status: Still happily married to Mike.
Her quirk: Now that she has her man, the seasoned seductress has softened and focuses more on being a good teacher to her students.
When we first met her: Funnily enough, Edie Britt and Susan were trying to outdo each other in a bid to bowl over Mike with their feminine wiles.
Her journey so far: Edie proved to be a thorn in Susan’s side in the second instalment – she got engaged to Karl (Susan’s ex-husband). And the green-eyed monster unfailingly surfaced.
In the third season, Susan had an amnesiac Mike to deal with after he was run over by Orson at the end of season two.
In the fourth season, Susan and Mike looked forward to being parents. Season five, sadly, saw them divorce after Susan’s tragic car accident where she killed Lila Dash and her daughter, Paige. Given custody of MJ, Susan tried to move on, but was unaware of a new threat – Dave (Edie’s new husband) – who was seeking vengeance for the murder of his family.
Susan and Mike ended up remarrying in season six, but they encountered a financial snag that saw them rent out their home. Desperate to get them out of their fiscal problems, Susan agreed to work for Maxine’s erotic website. But she ended up being blackmailed by Paul Young – her new tenant.
When he announced his plans to open a halfway house, Susan tried to calm an angry crowd and in the ensuing fracas was trampled on and lost her kidney… only to learn her second kidney wasn’t good and she needed a transplant urgently.
What’s coming up? The guilt at covering up Alejandro’s murder is eating away at Susan. And her daughter Julie returns home after giving her baby up for adoption and let’s slip Porter Scavo was the father.
Relationship status: Separated from Tom.
Her quirk: She keeps popping babies like there is no tomorrow.
When we first met her: Juggling her career and growing family was taking its toll on Lynette.
Her journey so far: Tired of staying at home, Lynette returned to her career in advertising and became Tom’s boss – not that he is very impressed about it.
In the third season, she had to get used to having another child around – Tom’s daughter from a previous relationship. Aside from that, she tried to support Tom in his decision to open a pizzeria.
Season four was dominated by Lynette’s battle with cancer. And in the next instalment, they had children issues when they learnt Porter was having an affair with an older, married woman.
In the sixth season, Lynette invited the Fairview strangler to stay with them and, in the seventh instalment, the pressure of being a mother left Lynette at her wits end. With a new baby to take care of and her family ever so demanding, Lynette was about to explode – until Susan started helping out.
Meanwhile, Tom’s new high-flying job caused tension in the marriage and ripped them apart.
What’s coming up? The sepa- ration from Tom isn’t easy and Lynette is struggling to keep her wits about her. She tries the dating scene again and gets Renee to hook her up with her hair stylist, Frank.
Meanwhile, Porter and Preston return home after being evicted from their place.
Relationship status: Married to Carlos.
Her quirk: She is vain, but fashionably so.
When we first met her: She was having a steamy affair with her gorgeous gardener, John Rowland.
Her journey so far: Utterly remorseful over cheating on Carlos, Gaby decides to do right by him and her marriage and decides to finally start a family with him.
In season three, Gaby and Carlos divorce after she catches him in bed with their surrogate, Xiao-Mei. Her back-up plan – more like rebound – is Fairview’s new mayor.
In season four, Carlos and Gaby realised it was pointless being apart and, despite Edie’s threats for Carlos to stay with her, they tied the knot.
Season five centred on Gaby trying to save face in the community – with Carlos blind and their finances a far cry from what it used to be – let’s just say Gaby struggled to just get by on love. But they eventually bounced back, with Carlos regaining his eyesight, and they focused on playing happy family with daughters, Juanita and Celia.
In season six, Gaby and Lynette found themselves at odds when Lynette tried to sue Carlos. The seventh season was centred on Gaby’s struggle to let go of her biological daughter and deal with being sexually abused as a child.
What’s coming up? Gaby feels guilty to see Carlos agonising over Alejandro’s death and she can’t do anything to help him. Meanwhile, the problem has a domino effect on their sex life.
• Desperate Housewives airs on M-Net on Thursdays at 7.30pm.