London - Even Basil Fawlty, at the end of his tether, would never have come up with something quite as idiotic as the customer relations policy of Blackpool’s Broadway Hotel.
Confronted with a string of complaints on customer ratings website TripAdvisor from a recent guest, the management could have a) offered an apology, b) offered a refund or c) offered a defence.
Instead, they had a better idea. They fined the unhappy customer £100 (about R1 800).
In doing so, they have made headlines everywhere from New York to Melbourne, reheated a thousand unkind jokes about Blackpool and ensured that millions of people around the world have now read some of the most excoriating travel reviews this side of North Korea.
“This place needs closing down,” says one of this month’s latest crop of stinkers, under the heading ‘Pure Filth Avoid’.
“Staff drinking cans of Strongbow while serving breakfast,” the reviews continued. “Could not wait to get out of this place and get home to bath. “
Another review, by Tracy W of Derby, states: “There was a pair of socks left in the draws [sic] that had actually grown mould on them.” A photograph of the offending socks is attached for the world to see.
Indeed, the review which has now made the Broadway an international laughing stock is not even the worst.
“Filthy, Dirty Rotten Stinking Hovel Run By Muppets!” begins a detailed critique by Tony Jenkinson, of Whitehaven in Cumbria, who concludes: “STAY AWAY!!!!”
But it was his observations, posted on TripAdvisor at the end of August, which resulted in the subsequent £100 penalty by the Broadway management. They simply deducted it from the debit card he had used to settle his bill.
So here I am checking in to a hotel which, by the sound of it, could not only damage my health but my bank balance, too.
Intriguingly, it’s by no means the worst hotel in Blackpool (in the TripAdvisor rankings it is a mere 858 out of 894). What’s more, this is actually the “award-winning” Broadway Hotel, having been garlanded with Blackpool’s Hotel of the Year Award as recently as 2005.
And the verdict? While I have stayed in better, I have definitely stayed in a lot worse.
The faded décor can’t have changed much since Ken Dodd cracked his first gag at the end of the pier. My sea view is obscured by what first appears to be frosted glass and then turns out to be a patina of grime. There is no shampoo, let alone soap in my bathroom.
On the other hand, the sheets are clean, the water is hot, WiFi is free and the service is attentive. And at £35 for a double room including a full English breakfast — less than the cost of a day’s parking in London — it’s certainly competitive.
So why has this place become so unpopular? And will anyone ever stay here again?
The gloss of that 2005 ‘Hotel of the Year Award’ did not last for long. The following year, the first bad review popped up on TripAdvisor.
“The staff were so unfriendly,” wrote one Broadway guest. “The food was horrible, a resident on another table asked for a jug of water, when this arrived it had slithers of glass in it.” The attacks kept on coming.
Lots of hotels have suffered abuse from TripAdvisor’s legion of anonymous reviewers. But the Broadway has attracted more than most. Perhaps the reason Mr Jenkinson was fined for his harsh words was that he was easily identifiable, having signed his review ‘Tony J of Whitehaven’.
The hotel claimed it was justified in penalising him because the small print on his booking form had stated: “For every bad review left on any website, the group organiser will be charged a maximum £100 per review.”
Mr Jenkinson complained to his local Trading Standards officer, who reported the matter to Blackpool Council. A council spokesman tells me that an officer contacted the Broadway last week and explained that charging unhappy customers was not merely “bad practice” but probably illegal.
The hotel responded by agreeing not to issue any further fines. But it was only after this week’s avalanche of international condemnation that it finally expressed some sort of contrition and issued a prepared statement.
While not apologising, it promised to refund the Jenkinsons’ money, adding: “We agree there is room for improvement at our establishment and we desperately want to turn things around.”
Clearly, it is a cornerstone of our democracy that people should be free to say what they like, subject to the laws of libel and incitement. The Broadway has behaved like some thin-skinned despot. On the other hand, many hotels have reported customers demanding cheap deals on pain of a gratuitously aggressive online review. And every hotelier will have stories of the “guests from hell”.
The publicity could hardly have come at a worse time since the hotel is also up for sale. According to the agents, £375 000 will buy you 46 bedrooms, a “Mediterranean-themed dining room”, sun lounge and a business with a turnover of £120 000.
But since neither the owners nor the management will discuss the matter any further, the only option is to book a room and see for myself.
The Broadway is just a short walk from the rollercoasters of Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Just over the road, the Silver Sands Hotel is festooned with Christmas decorations and echoing to the sound of a coach party singing along to the resident crooner’s Neil Diamond repertoire.
The scene is less jolly at the Broadway. Despite its transatlantic aspirations, the New York theme does not seem to extend beyond the Fred Astaire cut-out above the door.
There is, as yet, no sign of Christmas, although a leaflet promises a “tinsel and turkey” package in the near future.
But there is a friendly welcome at reception where a young man introduces himself as Ryan, hands me a key and says I need only ask if I need anything. Rooms must be paid for up front but the booking form doesn’t mention anything about a fine.
My first-floor room is just big enough for a double bed. There are a couple of rustic prints hanging from peeling peach wallpaper. The bathroom seems clean enough. Indeed, there is a novel touch of sophistication with the towels. One of them has been folded in to the shape of a swan and is sitting on the bed. You don’t get that at the Savoy.
Down in the near-empty bar, there are posters for a Friday night karaoke competition, along with a special Sambuca offer — six shots for a tenner.
The only entertainment tonight, however, is a television tuned in to the BBC News channel. There’s no evening food out of season but guests are welcome to bring back takeaways. I join three other people watching the news in silence. At least two are obviously undercover journalists, while the third is either a travelling salesman or a good actor.
I sleep well enough but this is no place for early birds as the dining room doesn’t open until 8.30am. The full English breakfast is average, edible and no different to the sort of thing you might get at a motorway stop.
A middle-aged couple arrive and cannot speak a single word of English. Then the woman has a brainwave, produces an iPad and contacts an English-speaking relative via Skype. The relative then shouts back the couple’s breakfast order to Ryan.
Before I leave I come clean and ask Ryan what the last few days have been like. After all, my experience is certainly different to that of many TripAdvisor correspondents. He says that he is under orders not to comment but insists that the hotel has not undergone any sudden transformation.
The Broadway now has more than its online critics to worry about. The whole town is furious. Having enjoyed a bumper summer, with overnight stays up by 30 percent, Blackpool tourism chiefs are dismayed by all the negative publicity, as an edition of the Blackpool Gazette made clear.
But perhaps, in some strange way, this episode may actually turn around the hotel’s flagging fortunes. People may not only discover that there is a bargain to be had — but there is also the novelty value of staying in a hotel famous for making Fawlty Towers look like the Ritz.
And the Broadway is surely a contender for one more award — the public relations disaster of the decade. - Daily Mail