My US paradox

Airlines have for years tried to shunt business to their own sites, because tickets sold via online travel agencies cost them booking fees, travel-agency commissions and other so-called 'distribution costs.'

Airlines have for years tried to shunt business to their own sites, because tickets sold via online travel agencies cost them booking fees, travel-agency commissions and other so-called 'distribution costs.'

Published Oct 22, 2012

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Chicago - This notebook comes to you from Chicago, a ridiculously lovely city, full of pride in industry and progress. It's also full of shops where you pay sales tax but get discounts, so everything ends up costing almost exactly what it says on the sales ticket, except you now have a purse full of tiny coins, and a mild curvature of the spine.

I came to speak about the meaning of life for 13 minutes at Chicago Ideas Week, which is easily the best gig I've ever been booked to do. It was a whole heap of fun, even if you don't count the fact that when I was a comedian, I used to play a room above a pub to eight people, in Chertsey. Last week, I played the 2,200-seater Oriental Theatre, and that (sorry, Chertsey) was better. Also in the old days, Deepak Chopra didn't open the show.

I like America, mainly because every shop assistant is nicer to you than your relatives would be if you were at home in the UK. I like how positive everyone is: ask a yes/no question from a stage in Britain, and you get a yes/no answer. Ask the same question here, and you get a round of applause. It's like a whole extra level of yes.

There are only a few things which vex me. The first is how every ad break on TV is full of commercials for medicines which may or may not cure a minor disease I have never heard of. The side-effects, without exception, seem to include a stroke, cancer and death. Health insurers do not make good television.

The second vexing phenomenon is new to me, because I've never been here in the run-up to an election before. The political campaigning is relentless, and every bit of it is negative. I have always sighed on hearing the phrase, “There now follows a party political broadcast” after a curtailed news bulletin. But tiresome though they are, they do usually try to tell you something they believe to be positive about themselves.

After five days of watching ceaseless accusations of insider dealing, sending jobs to China and (worst of all, it seems) building new offices in Wisconsin, everyone now seems terrible to me, even the candidates whose politics I share. I haven't heard a single person claim to have done something well. Everyone just slags everyone else off. I'm beginning to see how voter turnout might be low next month.

www.nataliehaynes.com - The Independent

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