This article was originally published on a satirical news website, www.hayibo.com
MAN, a new television series about Cape Town's male dating scene, has been hailed by woman-hating poseurs who say that they finally have a show that speaks directly to them. Meanwhile the Russian mafia has thanked the SABC for funding the trafficking of women by having the launch party at a leading strip club.
The 13-part documentary promises to explore the minds of four handsome Cape Town singles.
This will take approximately four minutes.
The rest of the first episode and the series will then be devoted to such complex issues as why chicks are kak hot, why sex feels kak nice, why chicks who don't want sex with you are lesbians, and how to fill the howling void of the modern 30-something man's soul with a sleepwalking procession of anonymous sexual partners, each promising salvation and the mother-figure he hopes will dry off his tears and save him from the black pit of excruciating ordinariness that is the existence he desperately calls his life.
What is not yet known is why MAN is spelled in capital letters or why it has a backwards N. According to most gender experts polled, the capital letters are a clear expression of small man syndrome and feelings of penile deficiency. However, the only theory presented for the backward N is that the show's creators left primary school before they finished lessons like 'Making An N' and 'Why Girls Are People Too'.
Asked why violently patriarchal South Africa needed yet another glossy celebration of male sexual conquest, MAN producer Merkin Smallcock said that "anyone who doesn't like this show is probably a lesbian or a university graduate, and we all know the kind of horror they've inflicted on the world".
Meanwhile, the Russian mafia in Cape Town has thanked the producers of MAN and the SABC for holding the show's launch party at a high profile strip club, thereby pouring tax rands into the skin trade.
"Women cost lot to buy," explained spokesperson Josef 'The Butcher' Jerkov. "Gift from MAN team and SABC was lovely way to start new year."
When management at the strip club vehemently denied that they employed trafficked women, Mr Jerkov agreed.
"Sure," he said. "And your Adidas trainers were made by 40-year-old shoemaker in Munich called Uncle Klaus."