Eusebius McKaiser
It’s amazing how self-indulgent and perverse even us middle-class lot can be. So much so that some of us think inequality and poverty are more about us than about those on the wrong side of the inequality divide.
Take a couple I met the other day while travelling in England. They are young professionals who have now settled in the UK. They are originally from Cape Town.
As naturally happens when you hear a South African accent while travelling, you end up chatting to your fellow countryfolk at some point during the evening.
And so I met Joan and Anthony at a cocktail function hosted by mutual friends. I asked them how they were enjoying their stay in London, and whether Earl’s Court and Wimbledon, and the surrounding areas, were still a meeting place of Saffers.
“Oh no, we live in North London! We thought it would be pointless to come here and hang out with South Africans when we wanted to have different experiences to those we had in South Africa,” Joan responded.
And hubby Anthony added: “I also hate how Saffers, like, become these stereotypes of home. They hear your accent and immediately they are like, ‘Howzit, my China’.”
I chuckled. And made some self-soothing assumptions about Joan and Anthony. Boy, was I in for a rude surprise.
I assumed that what they meant was that they were not in London looking to live in some expat community, reproducing tropes about the country that were mere caricatures of their place of birth, and drowning in nostalgic bottles of chemically-rich Lion Lager left over from 1985.
And so I chimed in: “Ja, it must be horrible to have a miserable expat simply assume that you share their worldview and pessimism just because you happened to be in London, too.” They looked sheepish, and soon I realised why.
Joan proceeded to skewer my assumption that they avoided expats who peddled a pessimistic narrative about our country. I then had to listen to how “almost perverse” it was to live in a country where most people experienced extreme deprivation.
Her friends, she claimed, couldn’t find jobs because of who they were. At this point she noticed that I was not listening passively but critically, and started using increasingly vague and euphemistic language.
So I helped her out with some precise language: “Do you mean your white friends?” She almost imploded on the spot. Indeed, she meant it was particularly hard for whites to get employed.
How does she square that with the reality that unemployment among white people was a single digit percentage point? No response.
From there I had to listen to how one-sided the media was, not telling the true story of how hard it had become to live in South Africa as a qualified professional.
And this brings me to the incredibly perverse self-indulgence of us middle-class people.
This lady honestly wanted me to believe that as a deeply moral being, she could not be a professional in a country as unequal as ours. She wanted to make a difference, she declared, and wanted to “teach them (them = the uhm downtrodden) how to live better” but you just “can’t do that in South Africa”.
And so here she is in London where indeed she lives well and makes a difference in society.
But I’m confused. How is inequality reduced if you leave Cape Town? How will “they” be able to live better if your self-declared calling to help them “live better” is ignored as you enjoy cocktail parties abroad?
Joan is right to observe that extreme levels of inequality make for a perverse society. But inequality for Joan is almost an aesthetic reason to leave South Africa. It looks yuk. It feels perverse.
And so what must happen now? Cue Trevor Noah: “That’s it! I’m leaving! I’m leaving!” No more sighing of extreme inequality.
Now let me be clear: Leaving home is a deeply personal choice. And staying is no indication of love of country.
Many perverse trolls choose to remain in a South Africa they hate. Leaving is expensive. It’s not always feasible. And you can still feel at home in a place that you regard as stolen from you, or as deeply unjust, and sick.
Equally, I can write many columns about brilliant patriots who live abroad, study abroad, are excellent ambassadors for the country and who contribute to our country’s development from afar.
We shouldn’t judge people for choosing to flourish elsewhere if they can’t flourish at home. And I find the very concept of patriotism dangerous and anachronistic.
But here’s the main gripe I have with Joan and Anthony: Why do we have so little regard for the poor but pretend we are moved by their lot?
Why do we think inequality is about us? It is the poor who can’t just travel to England for a holiday on a whim, let alone to work abroad for a few years.
A deeper self-awarness about one’s privilege surely requires you to foreground the impact of inequality on those not here at the cocktail party? There’s plenty about South Africa that needs to be fixed. But to pretend that South Africa is an unbearably harsh place for people – black and white – who are degreed professionals with great amounts of social capital, is simply a lie.
We need to get a middle-class grip on ourselves.