by Frances E Jensen (HarperCollins, R277)
“What did I do wrong?” is a question neurologist Dr Frances Jensen hears almost daily. Exasperated and exhausted parents, despairing over their teenager’s foolish actions wail despairingly: “Why would my daughter sneak out of the house in the middle of the night to be with her boyfriend when they had spent the whole weekend together?” Or “how could my son raid the liquor cabinet of his friends’ parents – and then leave empty bottles behind to boot?”
Jensen says parents are quick to blame themselves for a teen’s poor behaviour, even though they are not entirely sure how or why they are to blame. With biological parents, the guilt may come from passing on flawed DNA; with biological and non-biological parents or guardians, guilt comes from questioning how they raised the child. In either case, parents feel they are to blame.
Rest assured, it is not because of anything you did or didn’t do, or that they have been struck on the head and woken up as an alien species from Planet Adolescent, she says.
Teenagers are different because of the biology of their brains and, specifically, their brain development at that stage of their lives.
This book takes a fascinating look at the science of the adolescent brain, drawing on up to date research knowledge, clinical experience and Jensen’s experience a mother of two adolescent boys.
She explains adolescent brain functioning, wiring and capacity, dispelling a lot of myths, and also gives practical suggestions on issues of learning, multi-tasking, stress and memory, sleep, addiction and decision-making.
So, if your teen is sulky, withdrawn, volatile or irresponsible, this book will explain why.
And, take, heart, those difficult teen years will pass.