Sneaking click-throughs on an ex’s Facebook page is one thing, and even celebrity worship is harmless enough. But when the interest turns into obsession, it enters the territory of stalking.
What may start off as flattery and flirtation turn into unsolicited, relentless attention that psychologists say induces all the symptoms of trauma.
Celebrities and those with a public profile are easy prey. The likes of TV presenter and media personality Minnie Dlamini and former Miss South Africa and businesswoman Basetsana Kumalo have had to deal with stalkers.
Dlamini was forced last year to open a case with the police after a six-month barrage of abusive text messages and anonymous phone calls. She also reportedly made the decision to beef up her personal security and employed a bodyguard.
For Kumalo, who had a “lovestruck” stalker who stalked her for about five years, beginning in 2000, the stalking came to an end only when she took the matter to court. Kumalo was granted an interdict prohibiting the man from coming within 100m of her. He had started off with Valentine’s Day cards and gifts, but then took to referring to her as “his wife”. The court heard that, at the time, the stalker had taken to sleeping at a filling station near Kumalo’s home and sent presents for her baby.
It’s not just celebrities who are targets of stalkers though. In an era in which just about everyone has an online footprint, it means a Google search turns up more information about people than they may have intended to share publicly – and it’s all ammunition for stalkers.
They can use the information to threaten, harass or defame their victims, or steal their identities, take over their social media accounts, publish revenge porn, solicit others to have sex with them, order goods and services in their name, and destroy their reputations among family, friends and colleagues. Cyber stalking can be accompanied by real-life monitoring, vandalism and violence.
Shandré Jansen van Rensburg, who is with Unisa’s Department of Criminology and Security Science, completed her MA research into the rise of cyber stalking last year.
Part of her research focused on the experiences of 12 women victims. Jansen van Rensburg describes cyber stalking as “a complex phenomenon which is a dangerous and harmful consequence of modern society’s participation and interaction with cyber technology and the internet”.
“One of the things that surprised me most was the depth of the problem,” she says. “People who have not been stalked think it’s as simple as changing a phone number or deleting a Facebook account, but the harassment from stalking starts to impact on every aspect of their victims’ lives. One woman, a medical student, was stalked for seven years.”
Jansen van Rensburg says this particular woman has not been able to be part of social media in any form. She’s in cyber hiding from her stalker.
For another woman in her study, what started off as a friendly exchange on Facebook turned into something that left her shaken. She told Jansen van Rensburg: “The stalker and I got acquainted through Facebook. He seemed nice enough. He seemed very intelligent and gentleman-like, but I was not interested in a relationship with him.
“We exchanged numbers and he would call me every day at first, and then started calling more than five times in one day. He said stuff like ‘I really think we would be perfect as a couple’ and ‘No other guy is worthy of having you but me’. Right then I realised I had to cut ties and I told him I just wanted to be his friend.
“He started calling on my cellphone, but would not say anything and hang up. Then he started phoning and calling me hurtful names such as ‘bitch’, ‘whore’, ‘slut’ and ‘tease’.
“This was a lesson to me never to ‘friend’ strangers on Facebook or any other social network site.”
Cyber stalking is on the rise worldwide. The British Crime Survey of 2010-2011 found that one in five women and one in 10 men are stalked at some point in their lives. The survey also found that 77 percent of people experience 100 incidents of harassment before they contact the police.
Jansen van Rensburg says South Africa’s own statistics are patchy but she says the Protection from Harassment Act, which extends to cyber stalking and came into effect in April 2013, is recognition that cyber stalking is a modern problem that needs an appropriate modern response.
She adds that stalking has the potential to cause deep psychological and even physical harm to victims. And the legislation has shortcomings, she warns.
“The act can give people a false sense of protection. The problem is that the act relies on the police as gatekeepers. Often victims who arrive at a police station with a complaint of cyber stalking are turned away because the police tell them to come back when the stalker has physically harmed them,” she says.
Jansen van Rensburg states in her research: “Despite the overwhelming attention that the phenomenon of stalking has received over the decades, cyber stalking remains the stepchild of the criminal justice system, functioning as a mere branch of stalking.”
She adds that being pursued relentlessly online is particularly pernicious because the stalker never has to leave their comfort zone to stalk.
“The stalker is in their own bubble,” she says. “ It’s a bit like road rage when people act aggressively and rudely, because they feel protected in their car. They’d probably never behave that way if they were face to face with that person,” she says.
It makes for increased vulnerability for victims, and stalkers don’t stop till they transfer their fixation.
Lourens Schlebusch, emeritus professor of behavioural medicine at the University of KwaZulu-Natal, says: “Psychologists almost never see stalkers in their practices, except when they are compelled by the courts to seek professional help.”
They often have an underlying psychological disorder, even though they may behave normally in social settings.
Schlebusch says stalking is an “old behaviour, but a new crime”. He says stalkers develop a pathological attachment to someone, who can be a known or random target. The rise of social media increases people’s social exposure to stalkers, and he warns that it requires better personal management of personal details put into cyberspace.
Schlebusch says South Africa’s legislation reform is a move in the right direction.
He adds: “The law raises awareness about stalking and cyber stalking, but we need better record keeping and a perpetrators’ database.
“Stalking causes deep fear and anxiety for the victim and the victim’s family. It is a living hell for them.”
The professor says stalking needs to be taken more seriously.
His unequivocal warning lies in the statistic he quotes: one in three cases of stalking in the US ends in some form of physical violence suffered by the victim.
PROTECT YOURSELF
* Be mindful about what you share and who you befriend online. Strangers online are still strangers.
* Check privacy settings on your social media accounts to limit the information you send out into the world.
* Change your passwords often and don’t use the same one for all accounts.
* Don’t geo-locate yourself on sites such as Twitter and Facebook.
* If necessary, deactivate your social media accounts.
* Never post beforehand where you are going or when you’re going to be away from home. Post afterwards.
* Get an unlisted phone number and caller ID on your phone.
* If you’re being harassed, make it clear to the person to stop contacting you.
* State that you will take further action if their behaviour continues.
* If harassment continues, report the incidents to the police.
* Keep a record of all the incidents of harassment.
* Improve your personal safety.