Crazy in love? Or just plain crazy?

Thulani Khanyile won't even let his girlfriend, Zama Ndlovu, look at a man on TV. Picture: Nqobile Mbonambi

Thulani Khanyile won't even let his girlfriend, Zama Ndlovu, look at a man on TV. Picture: Nqobile Mbonambi

Published Jan 20, 2015

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Durban –

An Inanda man said he was so smitten with his girlfriend he wanted no man next to her… literally.

Thulani Khanyile, 35, said he loved his girlfriend, Zama Ndlovu, 31, so much he did not want her to watch other men on television.

“I was watching soccer with her and I noticed she was looking at Bafana Bafana player, Andile Jali. I then asked her what she would do if he was to be in front of her.

“She said she would have a conversation with him. I then switched off the television. I switched the television off three times when the game was on.”

Khanyile, a security guard in Mount Edgecombe, said he was “extremely” protective of his girlfriend and did not even want her to get a job.

“What does she need? I give her everything,” he argued.

He said when he travelled with her to town, no men were allowed to sit next to her in the taxi.

There are, however, a few men allowed to interact with her, and those are his three brothers and colleagues when they visit him.

Khanyile quickly adds that no one outside her relatives and his family is allowed to have Ndlovu’s cellphone number.

Social networking applications like Whatsapp and Mxit are no-go areas.

“I am not sick, I do not need counselling, I am okay, our love is just different from others,” Khanyile insisted.

“My neighbours and colleagues say I am a lucky man,” he said.

He fell in love with his girlfriend when they met in Empangeni four years ago and have been together ever since.

“She is not living in a cage. My girlfriend is free to leave whenever she wants. I, however, showed her an electric cord in my house and told her that should she leave me, I will hang myself,” Khanyile said.

Asked why he would commit suicide, he said he did not see himself loving anyone else.

 

As for Ndlovu, she said she had no problem staying with him. “I laugh at him when he gets jealous of people on television,” she said.

She said her family had also accepted their relationship.

“When we first started dating, I realised what sort of person he was and understood him and adapted to him.”

Ndlovu said she would like to find work, but her boyfriend has forbidden it as she might interact with men.”

“I like that he is not a womaniser and only loves me,” Ndlovu laughed.

Counselling psychologist, Helen Anderson, said there could be a number of reasons behind Khanyile’s jealousy.

“Possible triggers would be previous rejection in his life, which has made him anxious that he will be rejected again. This is likely to be accompanied by a low self-esteem.

“An excessive need for control is usually underpinned by high anxiety levels… his cognitive process is definitely distorted.”

Anderson said there were a number of treatments that could be used to help Khanyile, including prescription medication to deal with his anxiety or depression.

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