London - The average first-time mother finds the first year of her baby’s life “chaotic”, “tiring” and “stressful”, it has been revealed.
A detailed study into the trials and tribulations of becoming a parent found that most moms find the initial 12 months emotionally and physically draining.
And a large percentage of the 2 000 women questioned admitted the more negative aspects of parenthood – such as sleepless nights, the feeling of being lost, lonely and bewildered – outweighed the positive.
The report, carried out by Nurofen for Children, also found it was only when the baby reached the age of 11 months that the happier elements of motherhood came to the fore.
At this point, new mothers finally started to get to grips with the task at hand and gained more confidence.
TV presenter and GP Dr Pixie McKenna says: “It is easy to underestimate the impact having a baby has on a woman’s life.
“Before embarking on parenthood, many women are settled in a job, know what they are doing on a day-to-day basis, and are confident in the role they have carved out for themselves.
“They have independence, aren’t responsible for anyone but themselves, and their abilities and decisions aren’t questioned constantly.
“The minute a baby comes along, a woman’s world is turned upside down – with that initial rush of love and joy comes the unknown, and it is this which can throw women completely off balance.”
The study also found more than half of new mothers suffered a major knock in confidence in the first year because they suddenly realised they had no idea what they were doing.
It also emerged many mothers would be far happier to have a manual, more help, or instructions on how to cope with certain aspects of motherhood. Half of those polled wished someone could explain why babies cried, and 43 percent said they would have liked help on how to deal with sleepless nights.
Others said they would have liked to have been told when it was appropriate to contact a doctor, and when to administer medicines.
The research also found one in three mothers felt confused about treating their child’s illnesses.
Mothers also struggled to recognise the difference between illness and general grumpiness in the first year.
Four in 10 new mothers admitted they would call their own moms in the middle of the night for tips on treating a sick child.
Two-thirds of those polled found it difficult to cope with the sleep deprivation.
Four in 10 women had no idea how to get their baby to sleep in a regular pattern, while 35 percent felt they were making it up when it came to feeding the child.
Getting the baby settled into a routine, juggling the cleaning and cooking with childcare, and coping with the sheer responsibility are all aspects women would have liked training on.
One in four mothers didn’t have a clue when their baby was supposed to reach different developmental milestones.
When asked what they missed most about their lives pre-motherhood, 55 percent said social life, 35 percent said work, and 51 percent wished they could have their old body back.
McKenna, a spokeswoman for Nurofen for Children, added: “When it comes to health advice, only a quarter of mothers feel comfortable sharing advice with other mothers on knowing when to query things with a doctor, and even less feel comfortable advising how to recognise when a baby was ill, or when it was appropriate to administer medicines.
“I don’t think I ever fully appreciated what it was like to have a sick child, until my own children fell ill.
“My advice would be not to go it alone, share your anxieties no matter how foolish they may seem and don’t be scared to ask for advice.
“Consulting a healthcare professional who can help guide you through your child’s illness will help to ease their pain and your concerns.”
The research also found relationships with friends and family could be affected by the introduction of a newborn, while just under half of those polled gave up their hobbies and interests.
And while moms said they did start to really enjoy motherhood from about six months on, 65 percent admitted they found the first year incredibly stressful – 52 percent felt as though they’d lost their identity. – Daily Mail
Top 10 things mothers wish they’d known
1. Why the baby cries.
2. How to cope with sleepless nights.
3. The sheer responsibility of being a parent.
4. Whether to let them “cry themselves out”.
5. How to get baby settled into a routine.
6. How to recognise when the baby is ill and not just grumpy.
7. How to juggle the house cleaning with looking after the baby.
8. Whether you should be querying things with a doctor/health visitor.
9. Knowing that moms in the same position may only be appearing to cope.
10. How to cook a meal while looking after the baby.