Durban - What happens when your best friend starts a new relationship, while you remain single? It’s simple. You become the third wheel – whether it’s intentional or not.
Even though you want your BFF to be happy, having to constantly be around them while they suck face can become extremely annoying. While being the third wheel isn’t the worst thing in the world, if it feels that way. here’s a guide to survival.
l Agree on boundaries. Communication is key. I cannot stress this enough – you’ve got to let them know (and early) that there are certain acts that are okay and not okay. If you’re okay with them hand-holding, let your BFF know. If you’re not okay with them sucking face in front of you, then make it clear! Just because you’re cool enough to chill with them doesn’t mean you have to be uncomfortable.
l Plan neutral hang-outs. Go to the park. Go out for lunch. Go kayaking. Play video games at someone’s house – you get the idea? Stay away from “date-ish” places, such as the movies or the carnival.
l Make sure conversations are all-inclusive. Once again, communication comes into play. You’re going to want to get along with your friend’s significant other (well, at least for the duration of your get-together).
l So come up with topics where everyone can chime in their own thoughts. Current events, pop culture, food, lectures and even general get-to-know-you questions should suffice.
l Invite a fourth wheel. Who says that a third wheeler must suffer alone? Invite another one of your mutual friends to add a sense of neutrality to the situation. If the newbie is a good guy, he’ll be okay with it.
l And if you can’t pull off the look of a third wheeler – tell your BFF. Sometimes you just want to hang out with your bestie, and only your bestie. You have to let her know that, despite her telepathic link to you, you will have a bad connection due to the honeymoon firewall.
l When you invite her out the next time, make sure the invite is only for her.
Are you a third wheel? check the signs
1. Photobombing becomes the only viable method of participation.
2. It’s time for videogames, but your pals have other kinds of scoring in mind.
3. You suddenly realise you have all the snacks to yourself.
4. You realise that sidewalks aren’t wide enough for three people.
5. Your companions shamelessly make plans that don’t involve you.
6. You try to distract them from their tunnel vision of love, but to no avail.
7. You’re asked to hold purses and nurse drinks while your friends get their groove on.
8. They might try to pawn you off on someone else.
9. Bartenders may take pity on you with free drinks and false empathy.
10. When you’re trying to enjoy a movie, you can’t ignore the rom-com subplot playing out next to you.
11. Everyone is having a grand old time, but no one seems to care about your opinion.
12. Doing anything together becomes virtually impossible.
13. After tirelessly wing-manning like a champion, your selflessness just leaves you hanging.
14. Slow songs inspire desperation.
15. You find your eyes begin to tire from all the rolling.
16. You may even develop a deep resentment of all people, and yearn for the comfort of isolation.
17. You try really hard to keep up with the conversation.
18. You may even pretend like you know what’s going on.
19. But there’s just no popping the lovebird bubble.
20. You keep telling yourself you’re soooooooo happy they’re so happy.
21. But in your heart of hearts, you feel a little more like – Blah.
22. The worst sign is when they just ignore you completely.
23. And chances are, if your best friends cling to each other in times of mortal peril, you’re probably a third wheel.
The fun side to being the third wheel
1. Having two friends is better than having just one.
2. Your couple friends will unintentionally teach you the dos and don’ts of relationships.
3. If they have a kid, you can automatically become the “cool” aunt/uncle figure.
4. No matter what they wear on Halloween, all you need is a bicycle wheel to make a hilarious costume.
5. The silver lining? You only need one more person for a double date.
Sunday Tribune