Johannesburg - What do a frying pan, wheelbarrow, chip fryer, coffee cup, mousetrap, clog, crate, tin, baseball hat, slipper, paddle, sneaker and hubcap have in common?
They can all be used as a substitute for the common dinner plate.
Some of these items have to be miniaturised to do the job, of course, and friends of certain madcap restaurateurs are obviously being put to that task. But the question begs. Why?
In South Africa we’re already in the throes of these foodie flights of fancy. It’s fairly common now for eateries to serve your food on a wooden board. The Doppio Zero franchise, Walnut Grove restaurant in Sandton, Crave in Illovo, Il Localino in Bryanston, Copperlake Brewing in Fourways… they’re all in on the breadboard-as-a-plate fad.
Then there’s the slate tile, a favoured platter at Coobs restaurant in Parkhurst, for example.
The frying pan is how you get your fish and chips at Ocean Basket; Primi Piatti serves cocktails in jars, and at Nice on 4th in Parkhurst, the toast serves as the “basket” for your fry-up breakfast, a quirky take on Durban’s bunny chow idea.
What about the “deconstructed meal”, where your beans, chips, vegetables, condiments and so on are separated and come in their own little containers, which of course also take surprising forms and shapes, such as a small wheelbarrow, shopping trolley or tin for serving chips.
Mugg & Bean, for one, likes the “deconstructed meal” trend, so if you order the Baker’s Plate, the butter, jam and grated cheese all have bespoke bowls on a plate with just the croissant, ham and lettuce on it. Baked beans enjoy the same privilege.
Cape Town foodie blogger Sam Linsell says she has been served food on or in:
* a banana leaf
* Himalayan salt slabs (which normally forms part of the dish as it adds flavour)
* shot glasses
* a mirror and egg shells.
And WhaleTales blogger Chris von Ulmenstein says she was served a soufflé in a granadilla shell at Bushman’s Kloof restaurant in the Cederberg.
Yet we’re small fry compared to the platter pranks abroad. A skateboard, lightbulb, a plant pot, shovel, even a miniature ball and chain… there is no end to the bizarre ideas eateries come up with for serving food.
“I go to a restaurant here in Australia that serves entrées in opened, cleaned sardine cans. My partner takes them home and makes odd sculptures from them,” says Australian journalist and food lover Tracey Naughton.
So far have we strayed from a simple plate of grub that a Twitter revolution has started, with people crusading for the return of crockery.
On #WeWantPlates are hilarious pictures of green beans served in a teacup; chips in a miniature skip, crate or even on a ping pong bat; a fry-up delivered in a full-size shovel, and desserts dressing anything from an old brick to a tiny rotating washing line. One clever eatery delivers your salad trapped in an inverted wine glass, with a cherry on top, another brings your dinner out on a melted vinyl record and yet another serves spinach in squashed cans.
The problem is that as crazy and fun as these ideas may be, some of them are not very hygienic, and even less practical. There’s a revolt brewing against the wooden board in particular, driven mostly by fastidious vegans.
“Being vegetarian, the thought of animal blood being spilt on them is abhorrent,” comments Durbanite Joanne Shepherd-Smith.
“I am very apprehensive about eating on porous versions of plates. Bacteria grows quickly on wood slabs, slices of tree trunk and other natural surfaces. Imagine if the diner before you enjoyed a rare steak on a wooden slab that wasn’t properly sanitised,” concurs Sara Waxman, editor of US-based DINE magazine.
The operative word here is “sanitised”. To put your mind to rest, eating off a wooden board won’t kill you, and in fact, scientists have found no strong evidence that a wooden board is more or less hygienic than, say, plastic, glass or even marble. What is important is that the board gets cleaned properly after every use and is replaced if it gets damaged, for example from deep cuts or scoring.
Still, there’s the issue of practicality. Chasing a melting parfait around a slate might amuse some, but not all, and if you have to ferret your potato croquettes out of a slipper or mousetrap, you’d be forgiven for wondering if you’re on Candid Camera. Similarly with the deconstructed meal.
Put it this way, people without deft fingers risk losing half their lunch to the table, their attire and ultimately the floor.
Then again, not all of us are worried about the rules, whether these be table manners, hygiene or good old-fashioned plates. Don’t we have a celebrity who likes to eat sushi off the naked flesh of nubile young women?
The Star