Only the citizens of Orania are dreaming of a white Christmas. And even they don’t want to eat as if they were feasting in snowy climes. Eurocentric yuletide food is unsuitable for a South African summer so what follows are some festive food suggestions suitable for local merriment.
To swelter over stuffing and perspire into puddings is the worst kind of culinary colonial cringe. Hot weather calls for cool food.
This year why not go cold turkey on the turkey and opt for chilled tomato and basil soup, lime-laden oysters on ice and a fridge-set dark chocolate tart topped with lusciously thick, tinglingly sour amasi ingqaka curds to cut the sweetness?
The best part of a chilled meal is that it is, by definition, pre-prepared, so instead of the traditional emotional meltdown the Christmas cook can remain cool, calm and collected. You never know, you might even enjoy the day.
Reluctant to relinquish the roast regardless of the heat? Why not tuck into Rudolph?
Gauteng’s Cradle of Humankind is teeming with reindeer that were introduced in the early 20th century for “sport”.
These exotic beasts are competing for space with indigenous species and damaging vegetation within a delicate ecosystem. Culling, cooking and eating Rudolph is this season’s chic eco-epicurean option.
Braeside Butchery in Parkhurst, Joburg (011 788 3613) is selling port-marinated reindeer leg stuffed with garlic, rosemary and cranberries for R145/kg.
But let’s face it, however much you want to eat one of Santa’s helpers or swop marzipan-lined fruit cake for a sexy sorbet, the reality is that few of us have the luxury of making these dietary decisions alone.
Christmas meals are almost invariably cooked up by committee with a garnish of inter-sibling sniping and cross-generational power struggles.
Tearful recriminations are always the order of the day, so you may as well acknowledge and build bickering into the menu.
Thai-style mother-in-law clams are an ideal accompaniment to festive fighting.
This deliciously simple dish is so named because, when steamed, the clams open up like squabbling mouths, issue forth a frenzy of spicy sentiment and refusing to close. Much like the words from a mother-in-law’s mouth.
Mother-in-law-clams
This recipe was provided by Mickey Liu of Sai, Thai, Cyrildene, Joburg. (011 615 1339)
Serves 2 greedy and 4 normal people
1 tablespoon cooking oil
1 tablespoon crushed garlic
1 fresh red chilli, finely chopped
1 tablespoon Thai chilli paste
850g clams in shell
1 teaspoon ground bean paste
4 tablespoons oyster sauce
3 tablespoons light soy sauce
½ cup water
1 tablespoon white sugar
10g fresh basil leaves
Heat oil in a wok. Add the garlic and stir for a few seconds then add chilli, chilli paste, bean paste and clams. Add water and boil.
Once boiling, put a lid on the wok, reduce heat and simmer for 1 minute.
Remove lid, add soy sauce, oyster sauce, sugar and basil.
Boil and cook until a delicious fragrance is emitted, about 2 minutes. - Sunday Independent