Are we pressing pause on marriage?

The Irish novelist believes that, as people live longer, more are finding themselves with itchy feet after several decades of marriage.

The Irish novelist believes that, as people live longer, more are finding themselves with itchy feet after several decades of marriage.

Published Oct 19, 2015

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London - Middle-aged couples are increasingly struggling with the idea of staying together for ever, according to best-selling author Marian Keyes.

The Irish novelist believes that, as people live longer, more are finding themselves with itchy feet after several decades of marriage.

Appearing at Cheltenham Literature Festival recently, she said: “That seems to be happening more and more as we are living longer. We might be with this person and love this person, but Jesus, we could be looking at another 50 years, you know?”

The 52-year-old said she was glad women feel more able to admit if they are unhappy or dissatisfied with life and make a change for the better.

The author, who was promoting her novel The Woman Who Stole My Life, said: “There’s been a huge shift now in the way people have been regarding middle life. In the past it may have been regarded as very daring for a woman to press pause on her life and say they wanted to meet someone else, or admit they are bored or unfulfilled.”

Keyes, who has been married since 1995, said she thinks it will become more common as life expectancies rise.

“But I think it’s good,” she added. “I think it means people continue to be alive for every second of their life. Rather than shutting down 20 years before they die.

“The book I’m writing now is about a marriage, they’ve spent 20 years together, but they are going to press pause and go off separately and see what unfolds. They don’t want to divorce but neither of them want to feel like this is their life forever.”

Keyes, who has sold more than 30 million books, said she has also been struck by the way teenagers no longer rebel in the traditional sense.

She said: “The thing is, when I was a teenager, the way I rebelled was I got drunk, I stayed out late, I did inappropriate things with boys. And now it has kind of gone the other way.”

The author said she had stopped at McDonald’s with her teenage niece and nephew, thinking it would be a treat for them. “I was thinking they’d think, ‘Oh, fabulous,’ but they were like, ‘That’s disgusting. You put that filth into your body?’. I was like, ‘What?’ The rules have changed.

“This whole my-body-is-a- temple malarkey? No, you’re teenagers – misbehave! But this is their version of misbehaving. It’s by behaving well, by studying and playing hockey, you know? The world has gone mad.”

Keyes also said that using Twitter had helped her overcome crippling depression that nearly stopped her writing. She told the audience: “By writing about that, by talking about it, putting in on Twitter, the bizarre thing is it’s made me connected.”

Daily Mail

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