With emotions running high and fortunes at stake, it might be a lot to ask.
But now there’s no reason why you shouldn’t divorce with decorum … thanks to etiquette experts at Debrett’s who have produced The Guide to Civilised Separation.
With more and more marriages falling apart, the book urges couples to refrain from “bad manners” and keep their composure throughout proceedings.
“Throwing your husband’s vintage wine collection down the loo or cutting his suits to shreds might seem like a therapeutic gesture when you’re in the throes of rage and despair, but it can rebound on you and undermine your case,” the publication advises.
Debrett’s, which also continues to chronicle the aristocracy and the great and the good, has compiled the book in collaboration with leading divorce lawyers Mishcon de Reya, who represented Princess Diana during her split from Prince Charles. The guide warns against a tunnel vision approach to divorce, which it says puts people at risk of becoming a “divorce bore” who will find themselves “struck off the dinner party guest list.”
In line with traditional forms of social etiquette, the main principle is to avoid verbal confrontation and strive to keep the situation as agreeable as possible for all concerned.
The book says “being relentlessly polite and civilised” will “defuse any fall-out” among family and friends.
It advises sending “friendly Christmas cards” to the in-laws and to friends of an estranged spouse. “Nobody will be able to fault your good manners,” readers are told.
The guide, to be published next month costing £12.99 (about R150), also includes correct forms of address, with younger women being instructed to revert to their maiden name while older ladies should keep their married surname. Debrett’s chairman Conrad Free said: “We’re trying to help people through a step-by-step process in what can be an emotional minefield.” - Daily Mail