‘What is my son learning from sport?’

I understand why anyone would be rethinking an attachment to football right now. There's the horror of the damage done to the players, the odious NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, and the spate of arrests for domestic abuse.

I understand why anyone would be rethinking an attachment to football right now. There's the horror of the damage done to the players, the odious NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, and the spate of arrests for domestic abuse.

Published Sep 30, 2014

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Dear Prudence,

My husband is a huge National Football League fan, or more accurately a die-hard fan for his team.

I was born in a different country and have a hard time relating to this obsession. I tried for many years by arranging our schedules and preparing appetisers for game day. I even spent hundreds of dollars to attend a game live at his team's home stadium.

The problem is, now we have a son who is old enough to understand the game, and lately the acts of the players outside the sport have tainted my rather nebulous feelings. Simply put, I don't want my son growing up idolising men who make millions of dollars by being violent thugs. My husband says he understands, and can't argue against my points, but still he and his family must watch the games.

Is it right for me to want to break a family tradition, or should I just quietly disappear for a few hours every Sunday afternoon?

Not a Fan

 

Dear Not,

Ah, “The Game” - that phrase is spoken by my husband in near religious terms. When there is a game, and for half the year there always seems to be a game, it is taken as a commandment that the den is a sacred place from which he watches - and he doesn't want to be disturbed with irrelevancies like the house being on fire.

My husband obsessively follows our home team, whose name can't be printed in this publication. As far as my experience goes, it seems to me that every time I enter the den during the game, I end up watching some player's leg collapse like an accordion, and the man carried writhing off the field.

Despite this, I welcomed it when my husband imparted to my daughter a love of football. She became sports editor of her high school paper, and she can talk endlessly about the game, which will be a great asset for her in life.

I understand why anyone would be rethinking an attachment to football right now. There's the horror of the damage done to the players, the odious NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, and the spate of arrests for domestic abuse.

But I still understand the passion that fans have for this thrilling sport - and it is also unfair and untrue to portray all players as violent men off the field.

But you and your husband, like me and mine, should go your separate ways during a game. What a great chance for him to bond with your son and give you some time to yourself. That doesn't mean your husband should indoctrinate your son into blind fealty, and this is a role you can help play. Your boy can come to understand that while there is much to admire about football, there is much that is wrong and needs to change.

B

* Emily Yoffe is an advice columnist, using the name Prudence. Please send your questions for publication to [email protected]. Questions may be edited.

Washington Post/Slate

 

Background note: The US National Football League has recently been engulfed in domestic abuse scandals involving high-profile players, leaving the game's administrators backpedalling over disciplinary procedures and attitudes towards violence by players against women and children. There are also concerns about the game's safety, the suicides of a number of former players and a lawsuit by others seeking compensation for head injuries. - Source: www.theguardian.com

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