Durban - The dating world is a strange place these days. I think I am part of the last generation of guys who had to make first contact with girls by going up to them and talking to them in person.
It’s something that would no doubt be a foreign concept for this current lot of textaholic teen boys who are all about Facebook poking, BBM pinning and whatsapping their way into the hearts of girls. Back in the day, if you saw a girl you liked, most times you had to make your move right there and then. We didn’t have the luxury of being shy, ogling a girl all night from the corner of the room before going home to Facebook to stalk her. We had pressure. Get her phone number or risk never seeing her again. And even when you did get a phone number it was usually the landline of the house where she lived with her folks… which presented a whole different set of challenges.
We really didn’t have any alternative. If you wanted to date a girl you had summon up the courage and walk over to her and that walk would feel like an eternity. If you were lucky she’d be alone but most times her giggling, judgemental friends would be around her, adding to the discomfort of the situation. Then, once in front of her, you’d have to open your mouth and say something without sounding like a moron. It was an art that took a lot of practice to master.
Facebook, Mxit and dating sites which, arguably, are not real time in the real world sense, give you all the time you need to come up with witty lines and steal poetry off the internet. Online dating, especially, has been a godsend for guys. Think about it, potentially thousands of single women living in your area who are interested in dating, accessible at the click of a button.
And with the wealth of biographical information available, you’re not going in blind anymore. What could be better from a guy’s perspective? The trouble is, over the years women have become increasingly sceptical about dating. As you’d expect, nothing is quite what it seems online and women often have to weed through thousands of married, degenerate, deadbeat and below average earning men before coming across a decent, financially stable guy worth dating. Financial stability is, according to a number of surveys, in most cases among the top three things women look for when choosing a guy on a dating site. And, knowing this, many men out there tend to fake finances.
Which brings me to an article I read online about a new cellphone dating app called “Carrot Dating”. According to buzzfeed, Carrot Dating lets suitors “dangle a carrot” in front of potential dates, bribing them with gifts ranging from a tank of petrol to plastic surgery to straight-up dollar bills. It’s an incentive-based system of digital dating that allows women to choose their dates based on what is being offered by various men.
The brainchild of IT entrepreneur Brandon Wade who has built a number of successful dating sites, Carrot Dating is something that has already started to receive some criticism because of its bribery system and “direct” philosophy.
I feel that Carrot Dating is in many ways a digital version of what has and will always be a reality in the world of dating.
Very often women may be influenced by the car a man drives, his swanky apartment in an affluent neighbourhood and the brand of his watch he wears. These can be seen as symbols of success which can, in turn, be interpreted as a sign of financial stability. And women believe that financially stable men will take care of them and shower them with gifts.
Carrot Dating in a way cuts to the chase and asks men straight up what they have to offer. Online dating has just become honest. Of course, this is bad news for men who lie about themselves and their bank balances online, but it’s not all bad news for guys because there’s no minimum “bribe” value.
For instance, one could offer something as simple as a bunch of flowers or a hand- written poem, and while this may not receive the same amount of interest as the cash or plastic surgery offers out there, it will help the “briber” attract the right kind of women. Sounds like a win-win to me. - Sunday Tribune