QUESTION: I have two lovely sons aged 21 and 23, but am worried about my older boy’s lack of romantic confidence.
He recently confided he’s never had sex, while his brother’s had serious relationships since he was 16. And when my older son has brought female friends home, they’ve clearly fancied his sibling. My husband says I’m over-anxious and it will all come right with time, but I want to help. What’s the best way to proceed?
ANSWER: Being over-anxious is a mother’s prerogative. And most mothers of boys will have some experience, however faint, of the scenario you’ve outlined. Older sons tend to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, while younger ones feel less freighted with responsibility; this makes them more relaxed with members of the opposite sex.
The good news for older brothers is that their unflashy reliability becomes a far more attractive proposition as they age. A slow starter can easily overtake a precocious Romeo once he gets in his stride. So, your husband’s right in saying things will even out in time. However, that’s not much comfort for your boy while he’s in the doldrums. This is when a supportive mom like you can step in, providing you do so with great tact.
I would steer your older son away from social situations that involve his brother, so there’s no longer a point of comparison. At the age of 23, he’s ripe for a proper adventure. Going abroad for a year or two is a proven catalyst for change.
Finally, you need to reassure your son there’s no shame in losing your virginity later than the herd. It demonstrates an admirable determination to wait for the right person.
You can underline this point by getting a man your son trusts to talk about his own youthful romantic misadventures. - Daily Mail