QUESTION: My new partner likes to make love outdoors, as his ex-wife was too staid for such romps.
We’re both keen hikers, so I’ve caved in a couple of times in remote areas, but felt less keen than I admitted. At 53, the comfort of my own bed appeals. How do I admit this without seeming boring?
ANSWER: It’s funny how, on meeting a new partner, we claim to be all the things their ex wasn’t. There’s a strong, often subconscious, desire to mirror your other half’s interests.
So, it’s not surprising that the trend transfers to the bedroom. There’s nothing like being told your partner’s previous squeeze was unadventurous to make you push boundaries.
The danger comes when you feign too much fervour for positions and pursuits that leave you unmoved.
The good news is, your caveats are not unreasonable. Al fresco sex strikes me as being much like camping - a great idea in sunny climates, but less joyous on our rain-drenched island!
Also, could any garment lend itself to unbridled passion less than waterproofs and muddy boots? Most people like to let go of their inhibitions - but atop a freezing Yorkshire moor, you may simply feel exposed.
it’s not dreary, but realistic, to express doubts. You’ve already shown you’re not a bore by being game when it mattered on this year’s hikes. So, next time your chap suggests a wild tumble, be honest. Tell him you enjoyed the previous romps, but prefer creature comforts.
There are glorious solutions you can offer. If your garden isn’t overlooked, a hot tub under the stars is wonderful. Or how about a gazebo filled with rugs and cushions?
Combine comfort and fresh air in a way that appeals to you both. No relationship will last unless you adapt your needs and desires to your partner’s - and this works both ways. - Daily Mail