The things that men hate about women

Published Oct 11, 2013

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Johannesburg - Many men won’t admit to being put off by some female mannerisms because they don’t want to come across as petty or nagging or dumb. But they will build up resentments towards you. Here’s what not to do...

 

Being glued to the phone

He can’t stand it that you spend so much time on the phone to your friends, and that even when he’s in the same room as you, you have no problem discussing him with them. It was quite fun when you first met – it made him feel really important and that it was your way of sharing how much you liked him with your friends. But after a while it really started to irritate him because you don’t differentiate between what is private and what is not.

 

Second-guessing him

Worse than asking men what they are thinking (which is a waste of time) is to tell them you know what they are thinking. Even if you are on the money, they will never admit that you are right. Why? Because if ever they respond in anger that you have no idea what they are thinking, and demand that you stop second-guessing them, they know that you will never be able to resist the temptation of responding: “Well, that’s funny, because last time I was spot on.”

 

Answering for him

Mutual friends call to ask you and your boyfriend or husband to join them for dinner. You know that you’re both free and accept, assured you’ve done the right thing because your husband is always saying that you don’t see enough of these friends. You contact your husband to let him know and he’s annoyed that you didn’t consult him first. You stupidly point out it’s just dinner, not buying a house, which annoys him more. He accuses you of emasculating him. You tell him it’s easy to cancel. This makes him more furious and he instructs you not to. By the time you get to the dinner you’re still shaken while he’s charm itself, enthusing how good it is to see them.

 

Shopping like an ADHD child

When it comes to grocery shopping, women can be super-efficient, quickly knocking off every item on their list, and getting out of the supermarket as soon as possible. But when they’re buying clothes, shoes or handbags, they like to take their time, try on a lot of things and constantly ask for their partner’s opinion on what looks good on them. They dawdle and are so easily distracted by bright fripperies that men resort to moaning and groaning “Can we go now? Can we go now?”

 

Always expecting him to pay

Most men like to act like they’re the big provider, especially in the first few months of dating. It’s a hangover from the hunter myth that suits women to a degree but should not be overexploited. Even if he’s extremely rich, women occasionally need to reach into their own purses and insist it’s their turn to pay if they want to prevent bitterness and resentment down the line. “She expects me to pay for everything even though she earns a good salary,” he’ll tell his friends. Take your turn.

 

Being too flirtatious

He loved your sassiness when you met – that’s what attracted him to you, he said. He even called you a flirt in such a way that you knew he was telling you that you’re incredibly sexy. But then you started seeing each other and he started resenting your flirtatiousness, even instructing you not to flirt with his friends. Don’t bother objecting – it’s a waste of time. Rather tone it down.

 

Talking about past lovers

Men hate this as much as most women dislike men doing this. They like to behave blasé about sex, but they still like to think they’re your first and only, or maybe just your most important. Bearing this in mind, if you happen to land up at the same dinner party as a past lover, there is no need to reveal this. And never ever mention your past lover’s private parts, even if they were an odd shape. Avoid inviting past lovers whom you now describe as “good friends” to meet your husband, boyfriend or current man. They’ll hate it.

 

Dating younger men

Men still find it absolutely normal to date women many years younger than them, but they find it threatening when women do the same. Many women still feel too constrained to do so, fearing men will label them cougars or cradle-snatchers, but an increasing number, frequently led by movie stars, couldn’t give a damn. These women say it’s nice to know they will have someone to look after them in their old age when all the men their age are gone. This seriously irritates men, not only because it strikes at their mortality but also because it strikes at their right to be the first to leave.

 

Wearing too much ‘goop’

Men can’t bear too much make-up. Not only the look of it, but also the length of time it takes to apply. He’ll sit in the car or the lounge stewing about being late. Soon he starts telling you to start getting ready a couple of hours before an event. You counter that it takes you a mere 15 minutes, not hours, to apply your make-up, and he responds, “Why can’t you be natural?” And you reply, “Why can’t you shut up?”.

A bit of compromise is required, not only to silence him, but also for your own sanity. We really do overdo the hair and make-up routine.

 

Being too possessive

Don’t put him in a headlock at parties, refer to him constantly as “my man” (he has a name) or freak out any time he chats to someone of the opposite sex.

Unless he’s given you reason to doubt him, stop checking his phone logs, monitoring his computer use or calling him at various times of the day to check his whereabouts.

Jealousy and possessiveness are not attractive qualities. They speak to your lack of self-esteem and your lack of trust.

 

Being aggressive

In this day and age men can be flattered if a woman makes the first move – it really takes the pressure off them if a girl says hi, suggests dinner or gives him her number. But anything more aggressive than that will seriously turn him off. Sending countless emails and SMSes, “accidentally” running into him every five minutes, and cornering him at gatherings smacks of stalking, not dating.

 

Being an over-pleaser

If you’ve been dating a guy for a little while and find that his taste in books, music and movies is now your own taste, you’re an over-pleaser. This kind of woman is so insecure that she submerges her personality into that of her partner. It’s like she thinks the relationship is likelier to succeed if there is as little discord as possible. Girl, no one wants a cipher. You should know yourself and like yourself and not change for every guy you are with. - The Star

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