London - Don’t call me a grump because I loathe Valentine’s Day - a phoney event driven by florists and greetings card manufacturers, and which has nothing to do with modern relationships.
We worry about bringing up little girls with pink toys, frothy frocks and pre-teen cosmetics, but that’s nothing compared to the rejection they’ll feel the first time they don’t get a card on Valentine’s Day. Even worse is finding out that your mom sent you one.
Valentine’s Day has been hyped into an occasion when couples send each other costly tokens they don’t mean, and pretend they still fancy each other. What utter hypocrisy!
Even our political leaders sign up to the myth. Cameron, Clegg, George Osborne and Danny Alexander were all meant to discuss the Budget over dinner - until (we are told) their spouses complained because it’s Valentine’s Day. And so the nation’s finances will now be examined next week. Talk about the wrong set of priorities.
Any restaurateur will tell you that Valentine’s night is a disaster: a dining room full of couples who never spend more than ten minutes a day talking to each other (according to a recent survey) condemned to make small talk for at least an hour, with a sad red rose in a vase and a flickering tea light attempting to conjure up a romantic atmosphere. No chance!
I’ve already arranged to go out with my partner and a couple of gay female friends. At least we’ll have a laugh, even if those around us look miserable.
Do you really think that a bunch of horribly over-priced flowers or a cheesy card with a nasty red heart and a corny verse inside makes up for the lack of oomph in our lives for the rest of the year?
As a nation, we are failing at relationships. (The Government plans to offer separating couples mediation to try to stop the flood of court actions over the division of money and property.) Marriage as an institution is on the ropes, with Nick Clegg trashing it at every opportunity and refusing to support tax breaks for married couples. And divorces are up 5 percent as the recession places a huge strain on households.
The people most affected by divorce are between 40 and 44 and over 60. Life isn’t a load of laughs if you end up living by yourself in old age - and Valentine’s Day is hardly going to conjure up a friendly partner for the remainder of your days, is it?
Last year, we spent more than £20 million on Valentine’s cards alone. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just scribble a few thoughts on a Post-it and donate the money saved to Age Concern - especially when care homes are spending just £2.27 a day on food for their elderly residents?
I’d rather buy an old lady dinner than send a bloody Valentine card that will end up in the recycling bin by Thursday.
If we want to emphasise the importance of love in our lives, then let’s start with the elderly, the needy and the sick. When a man we’ve just met says ‘I love you’, we know it’s generally a ploy to get us into bed.
Most modern aids to romance are marketing inventions. Take ‘date night’. Dave Cameron proudly tells us he and Sam have these, as do the Beckhams.
That alone puts me off. Is ‘date night’ a euphemism for ‘a night we highly successful professionals lock the kids in another room and have nookie’? Just thought I would ask.
F or the past week you haven’t been able to open a magazine or newspaper, or log on to any website, without being offered Valentine’s Day deals - weekends in over-priced country hotels with a bottle of cheap bubbly on arrival and a couple of chocs on your pillow.
Or you can spend £100 at Swarovski and get 10 percent off - which doesn’t sound like a bargain to me.
Women I know who try internet dating in order to find Mr Half-OK have had very mixed results. The men rarely bear any resemblance whatsoever to their on-line profile, and it’s expensive, constantly getting yourself looking reasonably attractive in order to meet Mr Potato-head for a warm glass of wine before you make your excuses and catch the bus home alone.
The best thing to do on Valentine’s Day is tell yourself you’re fabulous. It’s cheap, and deep down you know it’s true! - Daily Mail