London – For the past six years, Tony Smith has been forced to watch as his partner, Caroline Whitehead, has lost the ability to do anything for herself. At 52, Caroline was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s – a very aggressive form of the incurable disease.
Now, this fiery and independent woman, who once ran her own IT consultancy, lives in a nursing home and is unable to feed, dress or look after herself. Any decision about her care or finances has to be made by someone else.
Tony, 58, who now lives alone in their home in Gargrave, North Yorkshire, says: ‘I remember one evening, I thought I was being kind to Caroline by offering a selection of dinner options so she could choose what she wanted to eat. I quickly realised, though, that I was just confusing her. That was the moment I knew that it was now up to me, and me alone, to make all the decisions – for her and for us.’
Shattering though this moment was, he was thankful for one thing – that they’d had the foresight to set up a lasting power of attorney in the early days of Caroline’s illness.
This gives Tony the legal authority to manage Caroline’s affairs. Had they not set up a lasting power of attorney, Tony would have had to apply to the courts to manage her finances, which could have taken up to six months and proved very expensive. In the meantime, her finances would have been frozen.
Sadly, this is a position that thousands of families find themselves in every year, and many regret not setting up a lasting power of attorney earlier.
Tony says: ‘We were lucky she was diagnosed relatively early – it gave us the time to get our affairs in order. But it is terrifying how quickly your life can change.
‘One day it seemed as though we were joking about Caroline forgetting what she’d gone upstairs for - and the next I was giving up my job as an IT consultant to care for her full-time because she had lost all mental capacity.’
Once Caroline and Tony realised she would soon be entirely dependent on him, they went straight to a solicitor to find out what they needed to do.
As a result of that meeting, they updated their wills and set up a lasting power of attorney.
There are two types of this arrangement. One allows someone to handle your finances and property - essentially, managing your affairs on a daily basis. The other puts someone in charge of your healthcare, so they can make decisions about medical treatments you may need.
Tony and Caroline set up both.
The point of lasting power of attorney is that you don’t need to use them straight away. Indeed, sometimes, they may never need to be used at all.
Tony waited four years before using theirs. But one day, when Caroline was unable to call her bank to request a new debit card and apply to the government for a benefit known as a Personal Independence Payment, Tony was able step in.
He says: ‘You never know when you are going to need lasting power of attorney, so have it up your sleeve ready. This isn’t a form you can just pick up at the Post Office – it takes time to organise.’
Daily Mail