QUESTION: After my marriage ended, I spent my 50s seeing sexy younger men, who never wanted to settle down.
Now I’m 62, I’d like to find someone my own age for a lasting relationship. I’ve dated three men in the last year, but none of them seemed to want sex. I barely got beyond kissing, even with the one I saw for four months. What am I doing wrong?
ANSWER: It’s one of life’s rich ironies that, when you’re a young woman, you spend a lot of time turning down sexual advances, then, three decades later, it’s the men who seem coy.
Just as women feel comfortable in their own skins, men retreat behind a layer of tweed and corduroy. Of course, older men experience pressures that women don’t - such as performance anxiety. Half of middle-aged men experience erectile dysfunction. There is also the fact that alcohol can inhibit sexual function.
In your case there may be other factors that intimidate your suitors. If you’ve told them that you dated younger men for a decade, they might be wondering how they can compete?
Your dates might find you attractive, while worrying they can’t live up to expectations.
So my guess is that you need to be prepared to give your older Romeos more time to unfurl emotionally. A lot of these men won’t feel able to cross the bedroom threshold until they’re sure of your affection and mutual chemistry.
And when you’ve established trust, you could then have a conversation about Viagra and acceptable variations on penetrative sex.
In short, I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. However, if my advice sounds dismal to you, maybe your heart yearns for a younger lover with a little more loyalty - so why not make that your quest instead?
After all, it’s worked wonders for Joan Collins and Madonna. - Daily Mail