How to drive your lover wild

Published Jul 8, 2011

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It's funny, if you think about it, that oral sex sends people into rapturous delight. When you're on the receiving end you're utterly vulnerable because your lover's face is so up close and personal that they can smell, taste and get a good squizz at your most intimate of intimates - not just as it normally is, but at the height of your arousal.

It's not as if this area smells like the latest Hollywood celebrity's perfume. Nor does it taste like honey. Yet despite this, oral sex is one of the most popular sexual behaviours. What sets it apart from penetrative intercourse is that it's an entirely unselfish act - unless, of course, both partners are connoisseurs of the sixty-nine position of mutual give and take. And nothing wrong with that.

Oral sex is typically about one person suspending their self-interest to focus on their lover's pleasure. For women, cunnilingus is the surest route to an orgasm - more so than vaginal intercourse - because of the loving attention paid to the clitoris. And for men, almost nothing beats the feel of warm lips and tongue around his favourite friend.

Most people have little idea of what to do on their first attempt, but with time comes experience and knowledge, and the inevitable gaining of more skillful techniques. If you've observed some interesting phenomena when applying yourself to this art form, or are perhaps seeking further inspiration, consider some of these oral sex tips and techniques:

 

Hot techniques for her

 

1. Foreplay is great play

The clitoris has 6000 to 8000 nerve fibres, about twice that of the penis. When stimulated, the clitoral glans, a nub of tissue about the size of a large pea, becomes aroused and pokes out of its hood. Because the clitoral glans is so sensitive, many women dislike direct stimulation without any foreplay. The more aroused a woman is when her partner starts pleasuring her glans, the better.

 

2. The oblique approach

The best approach to a woman's clitoris is indirect stimulation by teasing its edges rather than heading straight for the tip. Using circular movements of the tongue, the build-up should happen slowly. Once she's highly aroused, rapid side-to-side and up-and-down movements, or circular movements over the clitoris, work wonders.

 

3. Finding her sensitive side

Our bodies are generally asymmetrical in appearance and often, also in sensation. Many women are more sensitive on one side of their clitoris - which means that as she starts getting close to a climax, this is where her partner should focus all the attention. To locate her special spot, she'll probably need to be asked to identify where it feels particularly pleasurable. And the precise location should be memorised for great repeat performances.

 

And for him

4. Tonguing the frenulum

A guy's frenulum, which is the sensitive bit of skin on the underside of the penis where the head meets the shaft, is particularly responsive to stimulation. A great technique during fellatio is this: the giver faces him and begins by taking him in their mouth and bobbing their head up and down. When positioned at the base of his head, or glans, the giver then moves their head in a circular, rolling motion, and flicks their tongue in fast movements over his frenulum. It will feel divine.

 

5. The perineum's sacred spot

Halfway along his perineum (the sensitive strip between his testicles and anus) is a spot that feels intensely erotic sensations. If this spot is pushed firmly with a finger and then held still, or the finger moves in small circles over the area simultaneously with oral sex, it becomes an erotic double massage.

 

6. Juggling all the balls

His testicles shouldn't be left out in the cold during hot oral sex. They are highly sensitive and most guys enjoy them being played with - cradled, stroked, juggled, licked and sucked. They are delicate, however, and most men don't enjoy rough play like biting or pulling. The ridge that runs between them up to the base of the penis leads to a particularly sensitive piece of skin where the two meet, and is very receptive to some licking or gentle rubbing with a finger well lubricated with saliva or lubricant.

 

Tips for both him and her

 

7. Keeping it real… wet

Oral sex is best when well lubricated, and saliva usually does the trick. Good alternatives are a cube of ice if the giver's mouth feels too dry, or water or warm tea. Alternating between hot and cold liquids is a winning technique as varying the temperature intensifies the excitement. Another option is the giver sucking on a mint sweet, which can help overcome any squeamishness about a lover's taste or scent. The menthol sensation also feels deliciously stimulating on the receiver's genitals.

 

8. Double the pleasure

Double or triple stimulation is infinitely more pleasurable for both men and women, though as it can sometimes be overwhelming, one should always ask for feedback. Women often experience more intense orgasms during oral sex if they are penetrated with fingers or a vibrator at the same time. Some women also enjoy a well-lubricated finger inserted in their anus (but ask first). Similarly, while receiving fellatio many guys also enjoy anal stimulation or massaging of their prostate through the rectum or perineum.

 

9. Loving the anal bud

The anus is rich in sensitive nerve endings, which is why many people love a warm, wet tongue stimulating this spot as well. Wash beforehand, and it is advisable for the giver to use a dental dam or cut-open condom to prevent any potential infections. As this activity may not always be appreciated by everybody, it's only polite to ask first or to approach the spot gently, and then gauge the response. Simultaneous use of digits or a vibrator to stimulate the genitals doubles the intensity of the stimulation.

 

10. Good vibrations

Vibrators can be used to explore other parts of the body to introduce a second pleasurable sensation while the mouth focuses on the genitals. The feel of a vibrator can be highly stimulating on the testicles, labia, clitoris, buttocks, perineum and anus. The vibration sensation often brings on an orgasm very quickly. Using a stop-start technique to delay the receiver's climax, then starting up again, stopping once more as an orgasm approaches, and then resuming, typically leads to a more explosive orgasm.

 

 

[Sources: Sex Play, The Big Bang, The Sex Inspectors Masterclass, 302 Advanced Techniques for Driving a Man Wild in Bed]

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